Finding Time

You will never "find" time....Do you ever find yourself saying if I could find the time I would…insert what you’ve been longing to do?

I’ve been finding myself doing that quite often lately. And you know, the time is always there. It’s up to you to make the time for it.

If you want to go to the pool for an afternoon, go to the lake and spend the day, visit your mom or your grandma, or sit by the bonfire, go do it! Make the time for it.

Whatever else it is that you think you have to do, can wait.

Or prioritize your day/evening so you can make both things happen. It’s totally doable!

“You will never “find” time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.”- Charles Bruxton

My family and I found the time to relax and sit by the bonfire. It was much needed and brought us all together. It’s important to make time for moments like this.

Warmly,

Gretchen

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Email: A Big Time Suck

Email: A Big Time SuckWe all do it. Yes, me too! I’m talking about wasting time. The tough part is that sometimes we don’t even know it.

Email is a big culprit of this kind of time wasting. It can feel like it comes in handy to zip over to check your inbox when you need a little procrastination on a project. But it can send precious hours down the tube if you let it.

Those notification pop-ups flying across your screen are irresistible to click on and read. Sometimes you feel like you’ve got to go take care of them right away because knowing you’ve got those things waiting for you just might kill you. It actually can create a lot of stress, knowing those messages are there and you can’t get to them right away, right?  

So here’s how you can save time and get a little sanity in the process…

Check It Twice

Yep, that’s right. I recommend you check your email ONCE in the morning and ONCE in the afternoon. That’s only twice a day. I can hear your groaning now and I totally understand.

I realize this may sound a little nuts, sacrilegious even, but you can if you can limit the amount of time you spend in email, it will save you hours each week if not each day.

Most office workers spend about 14 hours a week doing emails. With this technique, if you spend one to two hours a day in email, you can cut that down to five to ten hours a week of email time.

That’s four to nine hours a week that you can use for other projects or to go home early!

To gain hours back in your schedule with this approach, you’ll need to be serious about it.

You’ll need to turn off all email notifications on your computer and your phone that might sneak in and let you know about that new emails.

This works because you lose a good bit of time when you’re always jumping in and out of a task. Each time you have to jump into a task, it takes time to reorient yourself and get going with it. If you can start a task and finish it in one sitting, you get SO much more done.

And so much more *actually* crossed off your to-do list. —Sounds like results to me!

Pick what times you want to do email.

First thing in the morning for 30 minutes? Maybe you’re most important writing or planning work is best done first. If that’s the case plan for doing email a little later in the morning, say around 10:30 am.

Then plan a time in the afternoon that works for you. 2:30 pm or 3:30 pm? You pick what works best for you.

What times will you pick? Does this sound doable? Let me know what you think about this idea in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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You’re writing the story of your life…

You're Writing the Story of Your Life....Do you ever feel that life is passing you by in the blink of an eye?

I seem to notice it more and more as my kiddos keep getting bigger and bigger. I saw where someone posted on Facebook how you only have 18 summers with your kids. That really put things into perspective for me.

Our kids decided that they wanted to camp out on our farm this past weekend.

Here’s a picture of them helping prepare breakfast over the fire. These are the memories we cherish most and they’ll never forget.

Kids by the fire.

It made me think about this quote and how fitting it is since we are the ones who are writing the stories of our lives.

“You’re writing the story of your life one moment at a time.” -Doc Childre and Howard Martin

I invite you to take the time to reflect on the things that matter most in life and make time for them.

Warmly,

Gretchen

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Own Your To Do List Like a Boss

Own Your To Do List Like A BossTime is the only thing we don’t get enough of right? No matter how organized a person is, we’ve all been caught with not having enough time at one point or another. And for those of us who feel like we’re always running out of time, it can be an exhausting, never-ending cycle of panic as deadlines come due.

So, in hopes of helping you gain some sanity by being better with your time, I’m sharing one time management tip that surprised me in how helpful it was.

The Disruptor

At the end of every day, do you feel like you’ve got so much to do that your mind is still racing about all the things you need to do the next day?

Or perhaps, you lay awake in bed with all of those little to-do things running through your mind, keeping you up half the night? If so, this is for you.

The Stressbuster

There’s an easy way to save those worries about ALL the things that need to get done. Seriously!

Near the end of your work day, take ten minutes to list all of the things that you have to do the next day. Include anything from the current day that didn’t get done.

Look at your list. Is there anything that jumps out that needs to be done first thing the next day? Highlight it.

Are there any external deadlines you need to meet? Note those so you can work toward them so you don’t let them slip.

You’re creating your plan of action for the following day which will save you stress and all kinds of  time spent feeling panicked about what you need to do next.

Why it Works

Our brain keeps trying to find a place to organize those thoughts and to-do items because it knows those things are important and that we don’t want to lose track of them. Writing them down allows your brain to hit the pause button so you can go home and rest at the end of a busy day because after writing down all the things you have to do, you have a plan. This is your battle plan for the next day.

When you wake up, you don’t have to worry or stress out about all of the things you need to do because you’ve already figured this out. You just need to show up and work the plan you created the day before.  

Ahhhh, what an empowering feeling, right?

All of a sudden you feel ready for battle instead of feeling like you’re constantly about to be ambushed by your to-do list.

You may feel like a super organized person or someone who can definitely use a little help on this front. In either case, I encourage you to try planning your to-do list the day before and let me know if you find it helpful to feeling more sane and in control of each day and each week.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Communication – The Human Connection

Communication - the human connection - is the key to personal and career success. -Paul J. MeyerLet’s talk about communication. Do you know how important communication is?

No really, have you ever really sat and thought about it?

Communicating is how we do everything! We communicate with our voice, actions, and our body. It’s a true representation of who we are. One gets to know us, our personality, likes and dislikes all by communicating.

When there’s the lack of it, often times troubles begin. We make assumptions, possibly start second-guessing ourselves and could even risk losing friendships or working relationships over it. Communicating effectively is key! I encourage you to take time to discover how you do it best and use it to your fullest potential. You have so much to gain!

This quote is pretty spot on!

“Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.” -Paul J. Meyer

Go ahead. Do it. See what you’ve got!

Warmly,

Gretchen

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Are You Listening?

Are You Listening?Do you ever feel like you’re not being heard? Like the person on the other side of your conversation isn’t listening?

How frustrating! When this happens it just feels like you’re wasting your time, right?

How then, do you ensure that when you’re speaking with clients, friends or family members that you’re helping them to feel heard in the same ways you want to be heard?

This is called active listening and it means that you focus on what the other person is saying, you’re thinking about the meaning of their words, and you respond in a positive, helpful manner that confirms you actually heard what the person was saying.

Conversations like these can feel magical. They can validate what someone is saying in a way that goes to the core of that person’s being. And, it can avoid a ton of miscommunication.

If you want to be a better listener, and hence a better communicator, check out these suggestions. They’re some of my best tips to help you fully connect with your customers, friends and family in meaningful ways.

Remove Distractions

Set the cell phone upside down, away from you and on silent mode so you’re not tempted to sneak a peek as to what’s going on in the digital world.

Let THEM Talk

This means you don’t interrupt. If you get a brilliant idea that you’re dying to share, wait for the right pause in conversation to share it. Or, make a note and share it later when your speaker is done talking.

Repeat

When in a conversation with someone, repeat back what they’ve said to confirm you understand. For example, “I heard you say that you felt overwhelmed by all of the things you need to do in the next month. Is that right?”

Ask Questions

This helps you to learn more and have a deeper understanding of what your companion is talking about. Ask relevant and specific questions. Give them some thought.

Take Notes

If you’re meeting in person, let them know that you take notes as a way to better absorb the conversation. If you’re engaged in taking notes, that means you’re listening to what they have to say. This works especially great for client conversations and if you’re a fast writer or typist.

Active listening takes practice.

So, if you’re a talker and find yourself interrupting others, make it a point to practice polite interjections in conversation instead of talking over others. If you tend to space-out and day dream during conversations, see if taking notes and asking questions can help you keep your focus.

I invite you to use these five tips to see if you can become a better communicator by becoming a better listener. Which tips do you want to try?

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Think You Know What They’re Thinking?

Think You Know What They’re Thinking?Do you ever think you know what your significant other or partner is thinking?

Like you totally know what they are about to say and it makes you angry? And rather than asking them what’s on their mind or trying to talk it out, you keep your thoughts inside? Then, you wait and see what they actually say and it was nothing of the like.

Yeah, I’m guilty of that, too. What a waste of energy!

This quote says is so accurately: 

“A lack of communication breeds assumptions of what the other is thinking or feeling; and assumptions are, more often than not, incorrect.”

Next time you find yourself making up thoughts in your head about someone, I invite you to talk to them about what you’re thinking.

I can assure you you’ll feel so much better about it and be grateful that you did. We spend so much time assuming what others are thinking and feeling that we start to believe it. If we’d just ask and be open to conversation, we’d quit wasting so much time and likely worrying about things are that aren’t even true.

Give it a shot and let me know how it feels for you.

Warmly,

Gretchen

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Do You Do Negative Self Talk?

Do You Do Negative Self Talk?

Talking to yourself is often seen as silly or frivolous, or even something a doddering old lady might do. But in reality, we all have conversations running through our minds all day long.

This internal conversation might include you celebrating a win or it may riff off of the opposite kind of conversation where things went wrong. Generally, I focus on the mistakes I make in my conversations.

Have you ever noticed this for yourself? Sometimes you can see it as being hard on yourself. It doesn’t feel good, right?

One way to turn it around so you feel better about a situation, even if it’s one that you’ve been stewing on for a while, is to change the words you use to describe it.

Communicate With Yourself!

Yes, this is a little like being a public relations rep for yourself and that’s okay. Actually, it’s perfect if you feel like you tend to beat yourself up when things go sideways.

The first step is to catch yourself having a negative thought. You probably have words or phrases that you can use as triggers to catch yourself. For example, if you always hear yourself say, “This sucks!” Or, “I totally messed that up!” you’ll know.

What are words or phrases you use in this situation?

Frame It!

The words you use to talk to yourself are so important. They frame how you perceive yourself for the day, the week or the year.

It translates into how you feel about yourself. Confident, fulfilled, scared, worried, shy, overwhelmed and more.

If you use negative words to describe what’s going on for you, then you walk away with a bad self-image of the situation. If you use positive words and have an open  state of mind, that generates good energy, you can walk away from a situation feeling like it’s all under control.

For example, “I shouldn’t have said that to them!” can be turned into a more positive phrase by including a solution to it: “Next time I’ll clearly lay out the steps for my client so I get paid up front and we’ll both feel good at the end of our sessions knowing that everything is buttoned up.”

Another example is, “I need to call my client.” This can easily become, “I want to call my client so she knows she has my support.”

See the shift there?

The first example applies pressure to yourself while the second version makes it clear that calling your client is a choice that you get to make and why you’re making it. It removes a layer of pressure and obligation that can be there with the items on your to-do list. And, it makes it feel more like something you’re looking forward to doing.

Just like when you write those client emails, you want to be clear, upbeat, confident and professional. You want to do the same with your self-communications, too.

Let me know in the comments if you’ve caught yourself saying negative phrases and how you turned them around into more positive ones. I’d love to hear your examples!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

 

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Awareness Without Action is Worthless

Awareness without action is worthless. - Phil McGrawAre there certain actions or thoughts that have a negative impact on you and trigger you to feel a certain way? Possibly angry, envious, jealous, sad?

Maybe your partner isn’t contributing as much as you think they should. Or perhaps your kids choose to ignore their chores and it becomes one more thing you have to do. Can you relate?

If you can say yes in that you are aware of what makes you feel a certain way, I want you to reach around and pat yourself on the back. Having that awareness is a gift to yourself. Now, the key is taking action on it. We don’t want for each time we feel triggered to just let it be.

Let’s say you can relate to feeling that your partner isn’t doing their fair share. Rather than stewing on it and feeling angry, what can you do to take action on your awareness? You could explain to them how you’re feeling and ask for help. If that seems hard to do, imagine how it would feel to have them helping more, feeling happy, and doing more things together.

Take that energy with you to the conversation. Like Phil McGraw says “Awareness without action is worthless.” You have nothing to lose and so much to gain. Take action and let me know in the comments what area you see is a trigger for your feelings that you’d like to change. 

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Find Your Focus: One Thing At a Time

Find Your Focus: One Thing At a Time When your to-do list is too long, how do you dare try to be more mindful? Or more in the moment? It’s the “more” part that catches me every time. Because I don’t need MORE things to do. I need less. A lot less!

But research shows that if you’re able to focus on the things in front of you, what you’re working on and doing right now, that you’ll be happier with all of your efforts as well has more energetic. I hate to say it but this sounds like it’s a good thing to be more in the present moment and mindful (there’s that dreaded “more” word again).

So how can you be more in the present moment and more mindful without adding yoga, meditation and a whole host of other guru-based activities to your already long to-do list?

I’ve come up with a way of doing this where I don’t add anything to my to plate of chores and I’m able to be more in the present moment. This means I’m enjoying life more and feeling more fulfilled by it.

How?

I take the things I’m already doing and do them in a different order. So for example, when I’m eating breakfast, I just eat breakfast. I don’t take my plate and go eat in front of my computer or grab my phone and scroll Facebook. Who wants to come back to cold eggs? I take the time to eat all that’s on my place at once. Then, I go do all the other things that are next on my to-do list.

This keeps the run-around feeling to a minimum. It’s also more efficient because if you have to keep coming back to a task, you waste time pulling yourself away from it and re-engaging with it. If you’re anything like me, if you don’t complete the task at once it keeps crossing your mind over and over until you do complete it. That’s the worst!

Look at the things you do every day and see if you can practice doing them in a streamlined way.

How do you eat breakfast, lunch or dinner? How do you fold laundry? How do you write your blog posts? How do you prep for your day ahead?

Here’s a hint. If you feel like you’re overwhelmed from all of the multi-tasking, life might be easier and more enjoyable if you can find ways to begin and end one task at a time.

If you haven’t tried this yet, start with something small like brushing your teeth. Don’t try to read your emails on your smartphone while you’re brushing for two minutes. Stick only with brushing.

If you feel annoyed or bored with this, go deeper into your thoughts about brushing your teeth. How does it feel to scrub your teeth? What do the bristles feel like on your gums or tongue? How does your face look in the mirror while you’re brushing? It’s okay to fall into deep thoughts or to be silly with this. The idea is that your only focused on this one task.

Then you can try this approach on bigger things like writing a client email. Even if writing that message makes you think of ten other things you need to do or look up online, come back to that email until it’s done. Notice ~how it feels~ to not get lost down a rabbit hole of distractions when you focus on doing only one thing at a time.

This approach allows you to really live in the moment and focus on the “one” thing you’re doing right now, all without doing more of anything. Let me know in the comments how this approach makes you feel and if you think it might help you enjoy life better instead of taking on “more.”

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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