Finding Time

You will never "find" time....Do you ever find yourself saying if I could find the time I would…insert what you’ve been longing to do?

I’ve been finding myself doing that quite often lately. And you know, the time is always there. It’s up to you to make the time for it.

If you want to go to the pool for an afternoon, go to the lake and spend the day, visit your mom or your grandma, or sit by the bonfire, go do it! Make the time for it.

Whatever else it is that you think you have to do, can wait.

Or prioritize your day/evening so you can make both things happen. It’s totally doable!

“You will never “find” time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.”- Charles Bruxton

My family and I found the time to relax and sit by the bonfire. It was much needed and brought us all together. It’s important to make time for moments like this.

Warmly,

Gretchen

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Email: A Big Time Suck

Email: A Big Time SuckWe all do it. Yes, me too! I’m talking about wasting time. The tough part is that sometimes we don’t even know it.

Email is a big culprit of this kind of time wasting. It can feel like it comes in handy to zip over to check your inbox when you need a little procrastination on a project. But it can send precious hours down the tube if you let it.

Those notification pop-ups flying across your screen are irresistible to click on and read. Sometimes you feel like you’ve got to go take care of them right away because knowing you’ve got those things waiting for you just might kill you. It actually can create a lot of stress, knowing those messages are there and you can’t get to them right away, right?  

So here’s how you can save time and get a little sanity in the process…

Check It Twice

Yep, that’s right. I recommend you check your email ONCE in the morning and ONCE in the afternoon. That’s only twice a day. I can hear your groaning now and I totally understand.

I realize this may sound a little nuts, sacrilegious even, but you can if you can limit the amount of time you spend in email, it will save you hours each week if not each day.

Most office workers spend about 14 hours a week doing emails. With this technique, if you spend one to two hours a day in email, you can cut that down to five to ten hours a week of email time.

That’s four to nine hours a week that you can use for other projects or to go home early!

To gain hours back in your schedule with this approach, you’ll need to be serious about it.

You’ll need to turn off all email notifications on your computer and your phone that might sneak in and let you know about that new emails.

This works because you lose a good bit of time when you’re always jumping in and out of a task. Each time you have to jump into a task, it takes time to reorient yourself and get going with it. If you can start a task and finish it in one sitting, you get SO much more done.

And so much more *actually* crossed off your to-do list. —Sounds like results to me!

Pick what times you want to do email.

First thing in the morning for 30 minutes? Maybe you’re most important writing or planning work is best done first. If that’s the case plan for doing email a little later in the morning, say around 10:30 am.

Then plan a time in the afternoon that works for you. 2:30 pm or 3:30 pm? You pick what works best for you.

What times will you pick? Does this sound doable? Let me know what you think about this idea in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Communication – The Human Connection

Communication - the human connection - is the key to personal and career success. -Paul J. MeyerLet’s talk about communication. Do you know how important communication is?

No really, have you ever really sat and thought about it?

Communicating is how we do everything! We communicate with our voice, actions, and our body. It’s a true representation of who we are. One gets to know us, our personality, likes and dislikes all by communicating.

When there’s the lack of it, often times troubles begin. We make assumptions, possibly start second-guessing ourselves and could even risk losing friendships or working relationships over it. Communicating effectively is key! I encourage you to take time to discover how you do it best and use it to your fullest potential. You have so much to gain!

This quote is pretty spot on!

“Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.” -Paul J. Meyer

Go ahead. Do it. See what you’ve got!

Warmly,

Gretchen

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Think You Know What They’re Thinking?

Think You Know What They’re Thinking?Do you ever think you know what your significant other or partner is thinking?

Like you totally know what they are about to say and it makes you angry? And rather than asking them what’s on their mind or trying to talk it out, you keep your thoughts inside? Then, you wait and see what they actually say and it was nothing of the like.

Yeah, I’m guilty of that, too. What a waste of energy!

This quote says is so accurately: 

“A lack of communication breeds assumptions of what the other is thinking or feeling; and assumptions are, more often than not, incorrect.”

Next time you find yourself making up thoughts in your head about someone, I invite you to talk to them about what you’re thinking.

I can assure you you’ll feel so much better about it and be grateful that you did. We spend so much time assuming what others are thinking and feeling that we start to believe it. If we’d just ask and be open to conversation, we’d quit wasting so much time and likely worrying about things are that aren’t even true.

Give it a shot and let me know how it feels for you.

Warmly,

Gretchen

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Defining Your Boundaries and Why It’s Important

Defining Your Boundaries and Why It’s ImportantThis month I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’m willing to do and what I’m not willing to do on all fronts of my life including work, family and personal areas.

I’ve learned I have boundaries that I previously didn’t care so much about. But now, years later, I can see that what were once super flexible borderlines have become hard and fast perimeters that I’m not only sticking to but improving my life with.

I’ve found that when I look toward those big things that I’m working on, I have to be fierce about keeping my boundaries where I want them.

By knowing where I draw the line and by upholding these borders, I save myself time, stress and can focus on where I need to go versus being dragged along on other people’s field trips.

Without keeping those areas sacred, things start to slide sideways and I start to feel resentment for those around me who (usually unknowingly and not admittingly) have overstepped things and are treading too heavily on my time and energy.

Then I feel like crap because I have no one to blame but myself  for letting them walk all over me. Can you relate?

Like how I use to agree to work on weekends for my clients. Respond to client texts after hours. Or how I allowed friends/family members to cancel our planned trips last minute without saying that it upset me and why it wasn’t okay behavior.

This used to be fine but not ideal before I had kids, horses and a growing coaching business. But now my life is more full than ever. To survive and thrive, I’ve got to keep it real by having solid boundaries.

And, I really want to enjoy this life’s journey as much as possible without all the things that can bring me down.

When I tow the line I feel better about myself. I feel like I have energy. And best of all, I can tell that others respect me, my feelings and my time.

Friends, family members, clients and even strangers clearly see what my boundaries are no matter how big or small they are. It’s like they’ve read my manifesto on what I will and won’t do.

Have you seen an element of my story play out in a similar way for you ? Think about it for a moment.

What’s something that you used to be okay with doing that you’re not okay with now?

It could be a work responsibility like making the coffee that you don’t even drink but somehow you’re still making for the entire office? Or a family duty like being in charge of all the food shopping or cooking. What’s one area where you feel resentment?

Okay, look at that area or action. Is it something you are still okay with doing or being treated? If not, how can you confidently communicate that it’s no longer a fit for you?

Can you have a conversation with the boundary breaker about why you no longer can do that thing and propose another way to get it done? Perhaps you can you make a go-to phrase that can help?

I encourage you to take action to create boundaries that serve you in reaching your big goals in life. They’ll help you let go of the negative energy and effort in your life so you can let more happiness in.

Let me know in the comments what boundary you’re working on right now and how it’s going. I’d love to hear about it.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Trust is the glue of life….

“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” -Stephen Covey

This quote resonates for me because boundaries are part of that trust.

People know what you are willing to do and what you aren’t so they can trust you. They can trust how you’ll act, how you’ll show up, and how you’ll support them or not.

Trust is a required element for setting and keeping boundaries.

You have to tow your own line and expect that others will tow the line of keeping their boundaries. Otherwise, you’ll never know if you’re crossing them.

You’re not a mind reader, right? So this makes sense. You’re trusting that others will tell you when you cross the line or are about to so you can have a good relationship.

As you must do the same for them. It’s a mutual trust.

When have you let someone know that they overstepped one of your boundaries? How did you feel after doing so and how did they respond?

I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Boundary Bombers: How to Keep them at Bay

Boundary Bombers: How to Keep them at BayRemember that time you got a phone call from your client or maybe it was a friend who needed something ASAP?

You didn’t want to do the task they were asking about but you felt like you had to say you’d do that ‘urgent’ but not scheduled thing out of a sense of duty, obligation and your general want to help others succeed.

And as a result of saying yes, you felt like shit right away.  

Why did you agree to help and why did it make you feel so awful?

How can you avoid that next time without throwing a grenade into the relationship?

I recently had something like this happen and it felt like a sucker punch since it came out of the blue even though I tried to do all I could to prepare for and avoid the situation.

After thinking about it, I realized this situation helped me to really recognize that I was letting one of my boundaries be overstepped since I myself wasn’t honoring it. It totally clicked.

I never liked working in disorganized and unplanned ways and now I could see that this feeling was more than a line in the sand. It was boundary that had grown to be as sturdy as the fence that keeps my horses in the pen.

It had become something that I was no longer willing to dismiss.

I can now look back and see that this boundary didn’t used to be so firm.

I was willing to let clients, family and friends procrastinate and drag their feet on things and then I’d make myself available to pick up the pieces even if it meant I let go of doing something that was important to me and outside of the times I’d normally do it.

The amazing thing is that now I see how I’m seriously OVER letting people cross this line. It’s no fun and it no longer feels helpful to get clients, family and friends out of a tough spot in the last second before things really go south.

It’s a strong boundary for me and I’m now committed to honoring it.

So I bring this question to you.

When do you let your boundaries be crossed?

The next time you feel like you’re doing something that you don’t want to do, ask yourself if you’ve let someone overstep your boundaries. What specific line was crossed? Usually it was the thing that bothers you most about the event.

Who is it with? -A family member, friend or client?

What area is it in? -Money, work, relationship, home stuff, etc…?

What state of being are you in? -Are you tired, overworked, overwhelmed, feeling healthy, feeling hungry? What else is going on that’s stressful aside from the boundary that was just crossed?

How can you make it better when it happens?

You can develop a go-to phrase that feels comfortable, one that buys you a little time to process the line crossing and check-in with yourself.

Here’s are go-to phrase examples:

  • “I need to check my calendar to make sure I’m available.”
  • “I don’t plan anything less than a day out because it’s gotten me in trouble before.”

Whatever go-to phrase you create, say it aloud a few times. It’ll make it easier to say when you’re taken by surprise the next time someone crosses your line.

Let me know in the comments what your go-to phrase is. I’d love to hear it.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Are You Daring to Set Boundaries?

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” Brené BrownCan you can relate to this quote?

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” -Brené Brown

I find as an entrepreneur (and mom, and wife, and friend, and the list could continue on…), I’m such a giver and always want for things to be done just right and for all involved to be happy, that I end up overstepping my own boundaries.

That in turn makes it really easy for me to allow others to do the same since I do it to myself. A little vicious cycle going on there! We must remember how important it is to honor our own boundaries and to love ourselves. We must start with ourselves first to then know what and how to ask it of others.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments. Do you feel like your boundaries honor your needs?

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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How to Show Up Like the Real YOU

How to Show Up Like the Real YOUI’ve been thinking a lot about how I show up for work and my everyday life.

What I wear (who do I have meetings with?), what I feel like (am I rushed or frenzied?) and am I enjoying the process (hey, work can be fun).

I’ve found that if I really think about how I want to show up and act, and set an intention for the day, it shifts my outlook to a much more positive one. I used to come at this from a different angle, though.

When in corporate America, I would think about how my co-worker would see me if I came to work wearing an outfit that wasn’t what the company was used to seeing. Or how my boss would respond if I didn’t’ say something pleasant when asked, “how’s it going”.

I thought I had to wear the work “uniform”.

And I thought that I had to keep a perky, happy, I’ve-got-it-all-together attitude all the time. Both of these things were exhausting constraints to live within.

When I shifted my thinking to make choices about how I wanted to respond to the world versus how I thought the world expected me to respond, things really changed.

I started asking myself questions like:

  • What do I want to wear today that will be comfortable, enjoyable to wear and show my professionalism?
  • How can I communicate in a way that’s authentic, respectful, genuine and doesn’t leave me feeling like I wished I’d said more but didn’t because I didn’t want to rock the boat?

Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Being here and showing up every day in a way that feels authentic and right for you is the only way to not feel stuck over the long haul.

I can see how each choice I make translates into deciding how I show up in a supportive way or a way that leaves me feeling like I could have done better. Do you ever notice that about yourself?

Deciding how to show up is done in tiny steps throughout the day.

It culminates in a day well spent doing all of the things you have to do in the best way possible. So you feel good at the end of a day. Those days add up to weeks and months that are more satisfying and give you confidence to do what you need to do.

How are you showing up each day?

  • Did you decide what to wear today based on your needs?
  • Did you decide how to communicate something in a way that was genuine to you?

How about in other areas of your life?

Do you want to eat prepared food or would it be better to make a few meals on the weekend so you can avoid feeling like there’s no time?

Do you want to exercise because it’ll build your confidence in how you look and interact with people? Then go for that walk this morning or head to the gym after work!

Do you want to have a group of friends that you can easily hangout with? How about scheduling a coffee date with an acquaintance to start building your friendship?

Where else can you see opportunities so show up in a way that supports who you want to be?

What’s one decision you made today that you made based on your needs? Please share with me in the comments. I’d love to hear how this works for you!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Be Proud of How You Show Up in This World

Be Proud of How You Show Up in This World. - Gretchen ChristyI would love to know. Are you proud of how you show up in this world?

Take that answer and apply it to your everyday life.

Do you want to show up in your PJs during your work day? If so, that’s okay.

Do  you want to have a reputation for kindness or being someone with a short fuse? Think about that thought for a second.

Choosing how you decide to present yourself every day is how you show up in a way that feels good to you, in a way that you want to be seen and in a way that has integrity for you.

Consider this the next time you’re doing an act of kindness or feeling the urge to say some words that you know you shouldn’t. –It’s a representation of how you are choosing to show up in this world. Make it a good one!

How will you show up today? Let me know in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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