Imagining that Future Keeps You Going, But will You Make It Happen?

Imagining that Future Keeps You Going, But will You Make It Happen? “You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.” -John Green, Looking for Alaska

I love this quote because it rings so true for me. I find myself putting things off that I’d *really* like to do because I think it will be better when I have have more time, more money, when the kids are older, etc.

But, I’ve learned life’s not about the future. It’s about being in the present moment and taking action for our happiness now. Each day. We all know that we’re never promised tomorrow.  I invite you to always live for today.

For example, I always knew from a young age I wanted to have a horse but I repeatedly kept tucking that thought in my back pocket. Always wondering is the time right? Am I going to have enough time? I’ll have to plant a pasture and buy hay and build stalls. Say what? Do I have enough experience to care for a horse and the list went on and on. After all, they are a lot of work. 🙂   

Then, I realized that if I didn’t start to take action, that goal would easily slip by as time does. So, I created a plan of how to make it happen. In 2011 it all started with turning a cornfield into a pasture. Now it’s seven years later and I have two horses, a three-acre pasture, a seven-acre hay field, a barn just for my horses, an office in the barn and time to enjoy their awesomeness. It all started with saying yes to what I wanted rather than continuing to put it off.  

I’m so glad I didn’t let it pass me by.

What’s one thing you’ve been putting off doing because you’re waiting for something to happen before you take that action? Let me know in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

 

The Here & Now: Being in the Present Moment

The Here & Now: Being in the Present MomentIt sounds great to “be in the present moment” doesn’t it? Of course that makes sense. But, it’s also a phrase that’s become very overused.

Here’s how I think about it’s meaning that might help you put it to good use instead of it floating around your brain next to doing yoga and meditation which can make it sound like an activity that you need a certified guide for.

Replay Loop

I’ve come to realize that it’s easy for me to overthink the past, and to replay conversations and events over and over again so I can see what I could have/would have/or should have done differently. It’s a true statement and one that I’m not particularly proud of but it’s easy to leave an interaction with someone and think about what could have gone better.

Have you ever caught yourself in that replay loop?

Being caught up in the replay loop is so unproductive. After about one to two mental re-dos of an event, it’s no longer helpful to re-hash the happening. It moves quickly into the territory of becoming a broken record. Yuck!

Futurama

Living only for the future isn’t that great either. It typically means you’re rushing from one task, chore, dinner, breakfast or conversation to the next thing, whatever it may be. Have you ever felt that you’re not really paying attention when you’re in a hurry like this? I know I have and I often feel bad when I have to tell someone important that I just missed everything they said. All because I was rushing to get my to-do list done.

Here and Now

The right place is here and now because where you are *right now* needs you! The present moment needs you to be aware of what’s going on around you and to engage with the moment so you can keep going to the next present moment. Make sense?

You’re being called to be of service right now, right here with what’s going on. Literally.

You’re not needed in the past and you’re not needed in the future because now is where is where you need to show up and support yourself. Nomatter how good or bad of a moment it is. It doesn’t serve you to be anywhere but in the present moment.

The current moment depends on you to be there. That conversation with your daughter or spouse needs you to be fully present listening and interacting with the other person and yourself. That work project needs you to be engaged with it. Doing dishes, scrolling your Facebook feed or some other form of multitasking only pulls you away from the present moment. It can be so tough to enjoy your day when all of your present moments are overfilled with distractions.

When you stop multitasking and start being fully engaged in the present moment, what benefits do you see happening in your conversations and your projects? Notice how it makes you feel when your present moments are distracted, multitasking ones verses singular moments of engagement, doing one thing at a time?    

What can you do to keep your distractions at bay so you can find more fulfilling present moments? Let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear how you’re doing at staying out of the past’s Replay Loop and out of the worry zone of Futurama so you can stay in the present, in a way that feels good to you.  

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

Do You Feel Connected to the World?

Do You Feel Connected to the World?“We all think we are connected to the world now, but we are not talking to our neighbours any more.” -Jean-Michel Jarre

How true is the quote above? Do you feel connected to the world? If so, do you feel that the online world helps you to feel that way? I do and I’m really grateful for it.

And, you know what else I realized? We’ve now lived on our farm for nearly 10 years and I’ve only personally met one of my neighbors. Say what?!

When I really sit back and think about this, it makes me think why? At the other homes we’ve lived at, I knew all the neighbors. It’s nice having that neighbor you can borrow an egg or cup of sugar from without having to drive 15 minutes to the local market. Or have someone you can trust to come over and check on things while you’re away.

Does this ring true for you too?

If it does, I’m challenging you to go introduce yourself to at least one neighbor a week. I have two to go meet and I’m going to do this too. Why not? There’s nothing better than being connected to those who live right next door to you.

You in? Let’s do this!

Are you ready to make big things happen with small steps like this? If so, let’s talk! Grab a time on the calendar here for a free, no-pressure chat with me to talk about how I can help you create a plan to take the kind of action you need so you can be the person you’ve always pictured yourself being. I believe you can arrange your world so you can feel amazing about how you’re living YOUR life!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

Connecting with others. Even when life is moving fast.

Connecting with others. Even when life is moving fast.I’d love to know, how connected do you feel to your friends? Your family? Your loved ones?

Do you feel like you’re always running around like a chicken with your head cut off? When you look back at last week’s schedule does it feel like a blur?

If things are always feeling rushed, how can you ever feel like you’re really connecting with your friends, co-workers and family? Jumping from one task to the next means you can cross those actions off your to-do list and feel productive but at what cost? For me, this doesn’t feel good but it happens.

If you feel like you’re always hurried and missing deep, meaningful connections to those around you, how would it feel if you were able to have sincere and authentic conversations with those that you spend the most time with? Imagine being able to fully listen to them without all the mind chatter or voices in your head.

Building relationships is just that – building.

You can tear them down, too. Perhaps when relationships fall apart, it’s even easier to see.

But building them can be just as easy to do if you shift your approach a tiny bit.

Now, I’m all in for going to get coffee with your old friend or co-worker to catch up on life or to get to know them but that takes time that you often don’t have. If you do, by all means, go get coffee with someone!

What I’m about to propose takes almost no time and very little effort. Seriously! It will help you to shore-up your relationship-building skills so you can more genuinely connect with, and enjoy those around you.

The approach?

Ask a question. The next time you’re sitting around on the sofa with a family member or when you run into someone in the breakroom, greet them and ask them a question. See, I promised this would be simple, right?

Here’s the catch.

It’s got to be a question that allows for more than a yes, no, or “I’m fine” kind of reply.

For example, “Hey Jen! How’s your dog doing? Is she still trying new ways to escape the backyard?”

You could ask how someone’s recovering after an injury, how their family member is doing or how the XYZ project is going. Once you get started, figuring out what to ask becomes easier.  

Remember, ask a question that isn’t designed to be ignored.

The person on the other side may or may not have time or energy to give a full response. If they do, great! You’re connecting and building your relationship with each other.

If they don’t give a meaningful answer, that’s okay, too because you’ve still done an action that strengthens the connection you have with that person. Don’t take it personally.

As you practice doing this, both of you will feel better about the other person. Why? Because you get to know them and they get to know you from taking this approach. You make each other “real” and see each other’s humanity.

Even if you wind-up butting heads during a meeting or about whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher, this relationship can better withstand that storm because it’s foundation is stronger. As a result, people are less likely to grenade a relationship because they know you better.

So go ask questions of the people in your life, no matter how close they are to you. Let me know if it this technique helps to build better relationships for you. I’m willing to bet you’ll feel a lot more connected without scheduling a coffee date with everyone you know.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

Remember that Instant Friendship With Someone?

Remember that Instant Friendship With Someone? Do you ever feel an instant connection with someone?

When you literally meet them for the first time and feel like you’ve known them a lifetime? I’ve only felt that feeling a few times in my adult life and it’s quite magical. I’m actually still friends with the few that made me feel that way. I consider myself lucky.

You begin to converse with one another and are eager to continue the conversation. You remain focused and fully present. You’re both listening and value what one another has to say. Trust comes naturally and a friendship or bond is created.

These energetic connections are few and far between.

It’s not often you find someone who truly listens and makes you feel seen and heard. If you have people like this in your life, consider them a gift. You are lucky too!

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” ? Brené Brown

This quote of Brené Brown’s really resonates with the idea of connecting with others through genuine listening. The kind that makes people feel deeply seen and heard without judgement.

Where have you felt this kind of two-way, connected relationship? If you remember that feeling of authentic friendship that naturally unfolded, it felt great, right? So my question for you…

How can you foster that kind of connection as you move through your week?

If you don’t know where to start to create this kind of supportive connection with others, know that I understand how you feel. When we leave school, or a job, or move, it can create a break with these kinds of relationships that can be hard to keep going from a distance and hard to replicate that deep kind of friendship. If this feels like something you want to change so you feel more grounded and connected with those around you, and make it easier to find your kindred spirits, I can help. Click here to grab a quick, no pressure chat with me to talk about helping you make it happen.

I want you to have all the joys in life and this is a huge part of it. I know you can build your life to look the way you want! I’m rooting for you!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

Ready to Unfriend Almost Everyone? Do This One Thing Instead.

Ready to Unfriend Almost Everyone? Do This One Thing Instead.Do you think the internet is getting a bad rep?

I may be the first parent to take this position but seriously, in this crazy world we live in, the internet is actually making us more connected. Thank god for it!

On Facebook alone, I’ve been able to reconnect with childhood friends (love seeing their pics!), stay up to date with current friends, learn about local events and about what’s happening all over.

Yes, the internet, especially social media has its downsides. Doesn’t everything we love? We’ve all seen it cause people to feel more bold and say things they would never say to someone IN person. IN real life. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves about the internet. Second only to ALL of the daily does of horrible, heart-wrenching news that’s always out there. Some days, it can be too much for a mere mortal to take.

But for every person that has that feeling, and I think I’m included in this group, I’ve got a personal challenge for you.

What do you do with those negative posts?

How do you respond or don’t you?

I’m serious when I ask this. Do you engage with the post in some way?

Maybe you read it, internalize it and let the yuck wash over you for the rest of the day feeling like there’s nothing you can “do” about it. This stuff feels so BIG sometimes that it can make you feel really small.

Even though sometimes you might like to un-friend just about everyone, let me know if you can give this a try instead.

When you next see something that triggers those “this is why I hate the internet” feelings, post something good. Post something funny. Post something mundane that you are doing right then like folding laundry or booking your next vacation.

By posting something positive or giving a personal update of what you’re doing, you’re elevating your experience online and the experience of those that you’re connected with.

It gives you a great opportunity to be an agent of change. Like a ninja of niceness. Like that? 😉 You get to spread kindness, good vibes, laughs, and an authentic hello from you to the world. The world that wants to hear from the REAL you, by the way. 🙂

You become an positive influencer for your newsfeed and the news that your friends and acquaintances are getting.  

Try it out and let me know if it makes you feel like you could finally “do” something to balance out the icky side of the internet. Do your friends and family respond with likes? Do they share your post like a friendly wave from across the parking lot at the mall?

I’d love to hear how embracing your inner Niceness Ninja works for you. Leave me a note in the comments to let me know.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

 

 

You Got to Move It…Move It!

You've Got to Move It...Move It!Do certain seasons put you into motion?

With having fairly long winters here in Ohio, spring is the season that really does this for me! My mind actually goes into overdrive with the playing + planning of all things that can now be done outside. My family and I really enjoy the outdoors so this is a win-win for all of us.

The same is true for my business. I’m currently enrolled in a 3-month coaching program that’s really helping me catapult my business in all the ways I desire. I’m definitely learning a lot and there’s lots of action that has to be taken.

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” – Conrad Hilton

I know it’s worth it. Just like this inspirational quote, taking action = results!

Is there an action you’d like to be taking whether it be personally or professionally and find yourself resisting? If so, why?

Are you ready to make big things happen and take action, but aren’t quite sure where to start? Let’s talk! Click here to see if I can help you discover how to take action so you can get ahead! It’s free and quick so no need to wait. I can’t wait to talk with you!!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

Success: What’s Your Definition?

Success: What’s Your Definition?Do you ever get caught up in the thought that you could be more successful? Like you should be doing more?

You see your friends curating the heck out of their life to make it look always amazing on social media. You hear about co-workers being offered a great new position. You see your neighbor driving a new car.

Ugg! It’s a sure way to make a person feel less than successful that’s for sure.

But, in what ways can you see success in yourself?

What one person sees as success is failure for another, right? Or it very likely could be.

Working a corporate job, 40 hrs/week and dressed in heels might sound great to a lot of people. Just like going for an 8am run, working in your comfy clothes, and calling it quits at 4:30 pm each day (except Friday because that’s your day off) is success to others.

And, of course both of these scenarios can seem like sparkles and unicorns to someone from the outside when in fact they’re nothing like that in reality. Thinking of success in this way makes it way too easy, way too black and white. So I’m asking. Can you dig deeper to decide what success really means to you?

How is your definition of success different from your BFF’s? Your parents? Your significant other’s or sibling’s? Go ahead and ask them what success means or looks like to them. Can you see the subtle differences there?

Maybe it’s your salary or how much you volunteer at your kid’s school that equates with success. What are your personal benchmarks for success?

It can be helpful to think about success in a very fundamental way first. Are your basic needs met? —Food, clothing, shelter, etc?

Then ask what have you done in life that you’re proud of?

I know you may be humble, and this may be hard to remember. And if you’re having a particularly rough day, it might be even harder to remember. If this is the case, go ask your friends or significant other as they may surprise you with what they remember (and were impressed with).

Maybe it was saving to buy a car, paying off your school loans, or graduating from college. Maybe it was that time you decided to take a leap of faith and start your own business.  

This all brings it into focus. Success is subjective. The cool part is that YOU get to decide what it means.What are your personal measures of success? How do you define success for you?

The clearer you get on this definition of success, the easier it is to know when you’ve achieved it.

I’d love to hear what you define as success. Would you please share with me here?

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

 

Do You Wander Outside of Your Comfort Zone?

Do You wander Outside of Your Comfort Zone?

I’m ready to adventure out! I’m committed to being more involved with my community as well as scheduling networking lunches and attending networking events. Now, this is totally shared with you from a place of love, joy, and enthusiasm while it also makes me a bit nervous.

That’s why this quote resonates so much for me right now:

“All progress takes place outside the comfort zone.” – Michael John Bobak

These are truly things I want to do (am going to do!), however, they take me just a tad bit outside of my comfort zone. Since I’ve now been working from home for almost 12 years (how did that happen?!), it’s a process of learning and connecting with new folks.

I’ve got a great plan of action in place and I’m seeing the results of working that plan already. I know I can do this as it’s just a matter of planning and taking action! Can you relate?

If you’re ready to finally relate to this kind of excitement about your plan working out, let’s talk! Click here to grab a zero-stress chat to see if I can help you learn how how to take action so you can see the results you want and feel super successful! It’s free and quick so no need to wait. …did I mention it’s a great no-pressure way to know how to get ahead? 😉

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

Are You Nudging Your Success Forward?

Are You Nudging Your Success Forward? How much exercise are you getting?

How much journaling and mindwork are you doing to make your life better?

Are you finding yourself hitting the drive-thru at the fast food place instead of making a healthy lunch?

Why is it that doing these kinds of activities feel like a chore?—Even when you know how much better you’d feel after doing them.

Maybe it’s that you don’t feel like you have enough time for them? Maybe you’re overwhelmed and overworked and can’t see how in the world these good habits can be worked into your schedule?

I totally hear you!!

But…

What if you considered these very important tasks as mandatory?  What if exercise and food prep were as important to your success as writing that perfect email or meeting your client deadline?

How would your week be different if it was structured to focus on a kind of success that counts on you incorporating these things that are missing into your routine?

What if you considered these elements as part of your JOB even though people don’t typically think they should be?

Why should you approach being successful this way?

Because if you don’t value these elements, you won’t do them.

However, if you treat them like a part of your job, you can get them done and move further ahead than you thought.

If you step back and really look at your schedule and your goals, you might just surprise yourself by the wiggle room you can find to incorporate the things you care about and that you truly need worked into your regular routine.

When you shift your perspective, that client call, responding to emails, or reviewing text, it starts to be as equally important as journaling for your mindset, getting in a good workout, and eating healthy.

How?

Ask yourself, what’s one thing that you need to add to your schedule. Maybe it’s an exercise class? Can you do a morning workout at the start of your day or maybe at lunch? Can you set up a treadmill desk? Can you find one single exercise to do every day, even if it’s small like touching your toes?

Maybe you have a cranky boss who you fear might not be into the idea of you coming in a little late or leaving for lunch a little early. Can you convince the boss or your co-worker to exercise at the same time as you? Odds are they need these success elements worked into their routine, too. 😉

I encourage you to get creative and think about ways you can make this idea work.

It is very likely that your mind will try to trick you by telling you that you can’t or don’t need to exercise, eat healthy or whatever your “additional” thing is. This is very common since what you’re wanting to do is not a part of your normal routine. It’s easy to stay comfortable with what we’ve been doing, even though we want more.

If you want more, you have to make changes to get it. The reason your mind starts sending those “no” thoughts your way is only your primal, lizard brain trying to keep you safe. I encourage you to really listen to your body and heart rather than what your head is likely going to tell you.

Your ultimate goal is to focus on what you can do to make exercise or writing or meditating or eating healthy a regular habit.

It can feel nuts to think of it this way but when you start to upgrade your everyday by treating your nice-to-have elements as equals with your have-to-have elements, it automatically makes it easier to work more efficiently, with more clarity and more successfully.

You reach the results you want MUCH faster when you look at your job and life with a holistic approach like this. You’ll find that when you take care of the elements that feel like “nice-to-haves” everything else is better.

If you look at some of the most successful people out there, you’ll find that they attribute much of their success to this approach of treating what they once considered nice-to-haves as must-haves. Wildly successful people like Marie Forleo and Tim Ferriss and have found the wiggle room and see the difference this holistic approach has on their success. You can, too!

I committed to doing more exercise and eating better by hiring a health coach who I adore. This requires me to make time for 30 minutes of exercise each day and to prep my meals each day. We’re talking serious grocery lists and meal proportions.

Even though I’m sore from my new routine, I’m 100% committed. I can see how it’s going to make me and even my family more successful. My energy levels are rising and I know I’ll be able to translate what I learn from working out and planning my meals to my business so I can be more successful.

I challenge you to give it a try. What’s one area where you think you can find a way to wedge in that good-for-you thing? Let me know in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen