Master of Procrastination – Is That You?

Master of procrastination - is that you?I’d love to know. Is it ever a struggle for you to remain focused?

Does your mind tend to wander all over the place when you really need to get things done?

If you’re anything like me, this tends to be true when you’re working towards a deadline or have a big project to start.

I like to say that I’m the master of procrastination when it comes to these things. I’ll distract myself as much as I can until it’s time to take action or the due date is lurking.

But, the one thing that’s proven itself time and time again is that once I start to take action, I always surprise myself at how bad it really wasn’t. All that worrying, delaying, resisting and losing focus on what I wanted to make happen, for nothing! You’d think I would have learned by now, however, it still happens! I’m human.

The greatest lesson here is don’t beat yourself up over patterns or behaviors that keep surfacing.

As long as you are aware of them and can take corrective action to get back on track, that’s all that matters! You will still be able to achieve your goals or get that big project done.

This quote by LL Cool J says it best! “Stay focused, go after your dreams and keep moving toward your goals.”

Warmly,

Gretchen

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Stay On Track + Reach Your BIG Goal

Stay On Track + Reach Your BIG Goal Doing big things can feel totally overwhelming once you start to list out all the things it takes to get that big goal accomplished.

Staying on track can be worse! It’s so easy to get distracted to then only realize you’ve lost precious time and energy because you lost sight of your goal and wound up working on something entirely different. Can you relate?

Before you know it, you realize your focus and motivation on the big goal of yours has gone to mush.

What was originally crystal clear is now like looking at the muddy waters of the Mississippi—you just can’t see through it anymore.

How then do you stay on task and keep your focus? Especially when you’re working on a monumental project with lots of moving parts to it?

I’ve found that getting into the habit of asking yourself one question makes all the difference.

In theatre actors use a similar line of questioning by using the “magic if” to ask themselves questions about the character they’re playing. It helps them conjure up better actions and emotions for their character to so they can play the role to its fullest.

In life and business building, you can use a similar “questioning” idea to stay on track and accomplish your goals by asking a different yet still magical phrase…

“What’s the next step for my biggest goal?”

When you ask yourself this one question, you all of a sudden prioritize what you need to do next. It’s clear again.

You don’t need to worry about what step comes after that. It’s a method to stay on your game and not get side tracked.

If your answer to the question does not relate to what you’re actually doing today, it makes it clear that you’ve got to adjust your plan and get back to that “next step” whatever it is.

For example, if the next big thing you’re working toward is to start your own Virtual Assistant business, you likely will have researched a business name, chosen the business entity that best fits your needs along with a whole host of other actions to get your business off the ground. Nice work! And maybe you’ve finally got a few leads that are looking promising.

Maybe you feel a little worried because you don’t know what to do next. This is a great time to stop and ask yourself, “What’s the next step for my biggest goal?”

Sometimes it takes a little thinking to get what this next action step really needs to be and you can usually get that answer in a few minutes.

In this example, if your answer is to learn how to price my services and what to include in a package so potential clients will hire me—awesome! You’ve got your next step.

This then becomes your action plan for the day.

If this next step wasn’t already on your schedule for the day, you need to change direction so your actions are linked to supporting the next most important thing for you to do to reach your goal.

Just like that, you’ve re-framed your actions to match and support your next big goal.

Now give it a go and see how this idea works for you. Ask yourself this question right now. “What’s the next step for my biggest goal?”

Leave me a comment and let me know if it changed or adjusted what you planned to do for the next day or week. I’d love to hear if it’s helpful to think of things this way.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

P.S. If you happen to be a virtual assistant who is looking to up her business game to get and keep more of your perfect clients, I made something just for you. Check it out here.  

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Am I Resting or Just Being Lazy?

Am I Resting Or Just Being Lazy?For many highly motivated people it can be tough to take a rest. They feel like they shouldn’t be relaxing for so many reasons and sometimes it just feels wrong to take a break. In fact, it can feel like resting is being outright lazy.

Truthfully though, resting and being lazy are two very different things that easily get thrown together by our minds.

How do you tell the difference between when you need rest or if you’re just being lazy? The two seem so much alike that this can be a tough distinction, especially for driven people.

In my opinion, lazy is when you go along for the ride, letting whatever happens happen. You’re not directing it.

You happen to plop down, exhausted from your long day and turn on the TV. You watch whatever bad TV is available to numb your mind and take the day away. It’s the equivalent of eating a bag of Cheetos. It’s junk food for your soul and it’s an example of being lazy.

You know that you could be watching a better show or doing something that is more meaningful that’s actually restorative but you pick the easy route and watch whatever B movie happens to be on the tube. It’s just like opening the bag of Cheetos is easier than making a snack with more protein, fiber or vitamins would be better for you.

The problem with lazy.

So you might be thinking, “So what? being lazy ever so often is okay by me.” And, I’d agree with you, however, there are a few reasons why being “lazy” doesn’t get you what you need.

You don’t really feel rested or recharged. Whatever activity you just did was out of habit or convenience instead of thoughtful and something that you know would give you more energy.

Laziness doesn’t give you energy. It supports feeling apathetic, indifferent about life and lacking enthusiasm for the things you thought you loved.

True rest is restorative. Sleep isn’t the only way to achieve it.

You pick what you want to do that you know will feel fulfilling and it recharges your batteries and then you go do it.

This means that rest isn’t always about sitting and not “doing”. In fact, doing can be a great way to fill your bucket with energy. What activities do you really like doing?

If you think rest will just happen, know that it won’t. You have to take the bull by the horns and work it in. With so much constantly going on in life, and frankly coming at you, restorative things don’t just happen by chance as much as we’d like to think they do.

It’s rare that real rest, the kind that recharges your mind, body and soul, happens by chance. Running into a friend can tap into this restorative process, but it doesn’t happen often enough.

Don’t be lazy about rest, plan for it.

Restful activities that are specifically chosen to help you feel better, do just that. You know yourself best so what works for you?

For example, if you’re going to be upset at yourself because you’ve been sooo unproductive over the weekend, you know that being “lazy” and doing whatever is easy doesn’t support what you need to feel good.

Now you know how to tell when you’re just being lazy or if you’re actually getting the recharge and rest that you need to feel fulfilled and ready for the world on all fronts—emotionally, physically and mentally.

Where in your schedule can you be more selective about doing truly restful activities? Let me know in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Does Rest Make You Feel Guilty?

Does Rest Make You Feel Guilty?Whenever you think about letting yourself take a cat nap, sit and read a book or go for a walk; does the thought ever cross your mind that “Maybe you shouldn’t”?

Does meeting a friend for coffee or lunch feel a little like you’re getting away with murder or taking too much time away from the “other things” you think you should be doing?

If any of this sounds familiar, I’m willing to bet that you fall into the category of being a highly motivated person who is used to getting things D-O-N-E (yes, in all caps!).

You’re not conditioned to take a break.

Maybe you’re afraid of the chaos that will happen if you do take a break by doing something fun or rejuvenating that’s not on your to-do list.

Maybe you don’t know what rest looks like anymore.

When you’ve been working hard and making sure you’re meeting all of your obligations, sometimes you start to feel worn out, right? Not only have you been doing, doing and doing but you’ve also been using up your well of emotional energy, too, which is even more taxing.

When it’s no longer fun to check-off all those things on your to-do list, it’s time to take a rest.

It’s important to note that resting is not stopping or quitting. It’s about, giving yourself a break. It’s about planning your days in a way where you aren’t asking yourself to be SO productive ALL the time.

It’s also about adding things into your day that will make the journey more fun and filled with joy.

What’s at stake?

If you don’t work in periods of rest into your schedule, so many things can happen. Anxiety, stress, mistakes, lack of clients, lack of productivity, and a lack of fun, passion and excitement to name a few.

But it’s so difficult to relax!

Okay, I hear you. Maybe you don’t have time to relax? Maybe you feel guilty for it because you know that you’ll not be able to do the trillion things you said you would? Maybe you don’t know how to work it in? I totally get YOU!

What to do?

The solution to not feeling guilty about relaxing is to plan for it. Add something relaxing to your schedule every day, every week or as much as you need it to support your not feeling overwhelmed.

If you add it to your calendar, you can look forward to it and not have that feeling like “I really shouldn’t be doing this totally relaxing thing.”

Planning for it helps you to set the expectation that doing restful and rejuvenating things are an acceptable and mandatory part of your process. Incorporating re-charging blocks of time into your schedule means that you won’t get so close to burnout and feeling overwhelmed all the time.

It sets the model for your significant other, children, co-workers and friends that in order to be the loving, awesome person you normally are, you need breaks at certain intervals and that they’re healthy to take.

What do you think? Have you planned something that could be considered restful into your day before? If not, what’s a break that you could add to your schedule this week? Let me know in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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If you’re feeling worn out… I feel YOU!

If you get tired, learn to rest, not quit. -BanskyAfter a few long weeks of family gatherings, doing big things in business, traveling, having nearly everyone in my family get sick in both big and small ways, having my car break down, working on a non-profit event and ending a long-standing work relationship, I was feeling totally worn out!

Even though a lot of that list includes things that are positive and were intentions I set out to create, I started to doubt my skills and my abilities.

Luckily, I noticed that I was feeling yucky because I was exhausted, not because my skills had mysteriously taken a nosedive. ALL of the things I experienced were very energetically tiring.

When I came across this quote by the street artist, Bansky, I had to share it with you as a reminder not doubt yourself just because you’re feeling worn out. Instead, give yourself a break and do what you need to do to start to feel like you have energy again.

“If you get tired, learn to rest, not quit.” -Bansky

It might be that you force yourself to sit and read for an hour instead of folding laundry or answering emails. Whatever it is, give rest a try and see if that solves those yucky, I’m-so-exhausted feelings after you’ve been super busy.

I hope you have a safe, fun and relaxing week!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

 

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Always planning for Worse Case Scenario?

Always planning for Worse Case Scenario? A must read! Does life feel like it’s humming along just fine, however, you still feel worried about what’s to come?

Even if life is stable—you’ve got a great job, your kids are doing well, you’re healthy—feeling uncertain about all the things that are most important to you can still happen.

It’s easy to feel like you’re always waiting for the next unforeseen “thing” to occur. This can make you go into total “worse case scenario” mode. Have you been there?

Worse case scenario mode is when you try to plan for every possible outcome, most of which are bad, that race through your mind. This is so you feel prepared for anything that might come your way.

In the process of preparing for what can feel like a battle all the time, the joy of the day or month can easily evaporate. The thoughts racing through your mind take you away from being in the present moment. It can keep you in this worry zone, making you feel like you can’t come up for air.

When you notice this starting to happen, what can you do?

Dig In

Take a look at what you want. Not what someone else wants but what YOU want. As if no one else were a part of your world, what would you want to do, to have, to feel?

  • What makes you glow?
  • Who do you love to spend time with?
  • What makes you happy?
  • What makes you laugh?
  • What makes you feel strong?
  • What makes you feel proud?
  • What makes you feel loved?

Did the answer to those come to you right away or did it send you into a little bit of a panic?

Constant worrying creates a whirl of urgent activity and it leaves little room for considering what matters most to you.

Skip It?

Does it feel easier to keep reading instead of stopping to answer those questions? If it does, I urge you to stop and go back to answer those questions as much as you can right now.

Yep, head back up to that list and jot down the first thing that comes to mind for each. Even if it feels imperfect, keep going. You know what they say, first thought is the best thought. Don’t overthink it. 🙂

Way to Go!

Now that you’ve come up with some answers for those questions, you know more about what YOU want out of life. This is what you emotionally want to feel like and what you physically want out of life. It’s like your life wish list.

Knowing what you (yes specific to just you!) want in life helps to cut your to-do list in half because you will have likely knocked off half of the things, or at the very least, have moved them from the “need” category to the “nice to have” category on your list.

Knowing what you want means that you’ll feel less anxious, panicked and worried about life.

You’ll feel more confident, more capable, and like you are up to the challenge of taking on the world.

What’s something in your answers that surprised you most? What’s one that really excited you? And most importantly, what are a few things you can put in place to get those things?

Here’s to you making that life wish list happen! Everything is possible if you believe in yourself!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Fearing the Future? How to Get Through It

Fearing the Future? How to Get Through ItI’d love to know if you worry a lot about the future?

Maybe it’s about how to make that project work, if you can get a different job soon, if you’ll be able to get enough clients to pay the bills, and if you’ll make mistakes that will totally derail you from your big goals? If you said yes, I can totally relate!

Worrying about the future is a waste of time, though. That might sound like an I’ve-gone-too-far statement, but it’s true.

This kind of fretting and worrying is dangerous because it can become a loop that you get stuck in.

Thinking about ALL of those things that may or may not come to pass; and ALL of those things that you know you’ll need to do, can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. It can be beyond overwhelming. Maybe you’ve even seen this happen?

When you fret over what’s going to happen in the future, you’re not taking action to actually change the outcome of your future. And, it’s absolutely taking away from the present moment. So, what can you do when you’re worried about the future and start to feel that pile-up of thoughts hit you?

FOCUS

Write down only the three most important things that are for you to do (not think about) in the next week and the next month. These two lists might be different and they might overlap.

For example…

This week, the three most important things for me to focus on are: 1) Truly focus on being present + creating memories with my daughter while we’re in Florida, 2) Layout the action plan for a new program offering and 3) Finish my client work.

This month, the three most important things for me to focus on are: 1) Creating a new opt-in, 2) Connecting with past clients and 3) Updating the coaching package copy on my website.

STOP

Take a break from what you’re doing and go do something else. This will disrupt your thought pattern and pull you off the overwhelm path.

SLOWER

Tell yourself that instead of speeding up and racing toward the finish line, that you’re going to slow it all down. This allows you to focus on just one thing at a time and feel less chaotic.

STORIES

These worries are actually stories that you’re making up in your mind. Many of the things you worry about never come to pass. Holding this in your mind (or on a post-it note hanging by your desk) may help to stop the future-tripping that’s happening in your head.

FOLLOW THE FEAR

One way to get rid of the stories is to map them out. Follow the story all the way through.

Ask yourself if x happens, what happens next? Then next? Then after that? How does the story end? Is the ending worse or better than the level of fear you gave to it? ….usually, it’s a lot less.

The next time you feel like your worries about the future start to pop-up, which one of the suggestions above will you try to help pull you out of the spin? Let me know in the comments.

With much love and warm wishes,

Gretchen

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When is the last time you did something that was just for you?

When is the last time you did something that was just for you?I’d love to know, do you ever find yourself feeling in a funk but not sure how to get out of it? Maybe you’re not sure what to do to recharge your own batteries? An especially busy time of year can have that effect on us.

So tell me, what do you do in your free time?

Okay, I know you probably don’t feel like you have free time but if you magically had some appear, say an appointment cancelled or you got a few snow days, what would you most want to do that helped you to feel strong and energized?

Seriously, something that’s not a chore or designed to help you get ahead for the next day or week?

When is the last time you did something that was just for you? That was not a chore or out of a sense of obligation? Something that filled your energy bucket?

One thing I did this past weekend was give myself permission to rest. On Saturday, even though it was unusually warm here in Ohio, I rested for the majority of the afternoon. It felt so good and I didn’t even feel guilty about it.

For me, that’s huge! And I knew from the events that took place the day before that I needed to refuel to feel good.

If it was too long ago for you to recall or you’re not sure you know what to do to recharge, keep reading.

Is it your mind, body or soul that needs an uplift?

When you feel depleted, notice what area it is that you need help with.

Mind

If it’s your mind, what can you do to switch it up and get more into your body? What workout can you go and do? Maybe a yoga, dance or cycling class? Maybe a long walk through the park? Maybe some time in silence?

Body

If it’s your body that needs to be rejuvenated, what can you do to give it extra attention and a change from the usual? A massage or a mani/pedi? Maybe a healthy, home cooked meal where you know all the ingredients that are in it.

Soul

If you’re not sure what needs to be recharged, I put this into the soul category. You may want to plan a vacation or an art retreat so you have something to look forward to. Would it feel good to plan a lunch or coffee date with a friend?

Journaling or drawing around a topic that seems to be gnawing at you can be helpful, too. Start with one idea and keep writing, bulleting ideas or drawing about it from that seed idea. Notice if it helps you work through the “thing” that makes you feel less than 100%.

If you’re not sure what you need, let’s talk (on the house, of course). I’m happy to chat with you to help figure out what you need to feel high-energy and ready to make your regular life better like you know it can be. Click here to schedule a FREE, twenty minute call with me.

I’d love to help you get a step ahead and feeling good about your life!

Here’s to your amazing, fulfilling life. Go get it!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Do You Recognize When Your Well’s Run Dry?

Do You Recognize When Your Well's Run Dry?When you read the quote below, does it resonate?

“When the well’s dry, we know the worth of water.”  ~ Benjamin Franklin

Do you immediately hear this and come up with ways that it can relate to your life?

You know, like when you’ve not let yourself have the rest you need, you’ve worked really long hours to meet deadlines, you’re fulfilling the needs of others and not yourself and then all of a sudden it catches up to you.

You’re exhausted, grouchy, you take even less care of yourself and you don’t ask for help.

All the examples I shared, are true for me too. I hate that many times it takes for me to feel completely depleted in order to realize what I need or what I’ve been lacking. My well then is almost dry.

And then, BOOM! I’m quickly reminded of the actions I can take and self care measures that’s necessary for me to thrive and remain full.

For me, it’s incredibly helpful that I plan and prepare as I mentioned in the last email I sent to you. By prioritizing my time, surrounding myself with positive people, and filling my “Happy Basket” with the things that truly bring me joy, allows me to keep my well full.

It’s not always peaches and cream, but knowing what it takes to fill me back up is what matters.

What do you do to keep your well full? Let me know in the comments.

Warmly,

Gretchen

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How Self Care is Like Cooking with Jamie Oliver

How Self Care is Like Cooking with Jamie Oliver If you’ve ever seen Jamie Oliver cook, you know that he’s famous for cooking amazing meals quickly so he can get back to what looks like his fun-filled life.

There’s a lot of him giggling and improvising as he cooks. Every meal looks amazing even though he’s pulled back the curtain to allow you to see all the details of how it’s done and even the mistakes he made along the way.

Taking care of yourself is a lot like cooking with Jamie. At the start of every 30 Minutes Meal episode, he sets the scene: it’s been a long day at work and now you know you have a less than an hour to feed your family before the night starts to fall apart.

Then, he tells you get your “A” game going by gathering everything you’ll need like the blender, pre-heating the oven, boiling water, etc. This way when you start cooking, you won’t lose your momentum by having to stop to go find the mixer attachment which may be buried in the garage cupboard or the way back corner of the lazy suzan.

Self care works in the same way. You have a ton of things you need to get done in a short amount of time like resting, eating healthy, hitting the gym, fixing that project spreadsheet or making those calls.

And you need to do all of it quickly. And you want those things to be done well, right?

The Solution?

Plan, schedule and prepare. As a human in this world, you need to take care of your needs so you can dive in and fight a good battle, whether it’s sending out a blog post, running a fundraiser or scheduling that massage.

Otherwise you become burned out and every little thing on your to-do list becomes a mountain and seems to take forever. Each thing you do becomes frustrating and stressful. Can you relate?

And even though the final result of whatever project you’re working on may be great, it feels yucky because the process of making it wasn’t fun.

In addition to gathering your supplies for whatever it is you have on tap, I also mean that you, yourself, are taken care of. -You’re mentally and physically ready to take on the world.

What does that mean?

Did you have your coffee?

Did you get a shower because you know that’s how you wake you up?

Did you go to your dentist appointment?

Did you get enough sleep last night? Or this week?

Did you do something fun or something restful? …something that recharges your batteries?

Instead of feeling exhausted and at your wit’s end, I want you to end every week feeling good about what you did and how you did it. I want you to feel on top of the world.

The key to doing that is to take care of yourself so you’re mentally, physically and emotionally prepared to take on the day, week or month.

Some things I do for myself…

Each morning after the kiddos get on the bus, I quickly pick up the house and watch the first 15 minutes of Good Morning America (I might doze back off to sleep for a few, that’s okay! I give myself permission to do so as long as I’m up and at em’ by 8am). This feels good and allows me to start the day off how I want to.

I also know that in order to have a mind clear of clutter while I work, I take care of the bigger household chores before starting my day. I then no longer have to think about them and know they are complete!

It rids the thoughts of the dishes yelling “wash me”, the laundry shouting “fold me”. You get it!

When I take lunch, I prep for dinner. Such a great feeling to know that most of dinner is complete before it’s time to actually start making it.

I’ve also discovered within myself that I’m more productive during the first part of my day. So it’s important for me to tackle bigger projects/tasks during that time.

When I skip these things that I know matter to me, I pay for it.

It causes me to not be as focused as I’d like to be and possibly a bit crabby at the end of the day when I realize all the things I still need to do or that need to be done. Then that serves no one!

What is your self care routine?

What do you need to be part of your routine that’s not currently part of it?

What happens when you skip parts of it?

Let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear how you’re taking care of yourself. -It may inspire the rest of us to make our self care routine even better.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

 

 

P.S. With the cooking season in full swing, here’s a link to a Jamie Oliver’s Get Ahead Gravy that’s a lot of fun. It’s perfect way to ease your mind if you can feel your holiday schedule sneaking up on you too quickly.

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