You’re writing the story of your life…

You're Writing the Story of Your Life....Do you ever feel that life is passing you by in the blink of an eye?

I seem to notice it more and more as my kiddos keep getting bigger and bigger. I saw where someone posted on Facebook how you only have 18 summers with your kids. That really put things into perspective for me.

Our kids decided that they wanted to camp out on our farm this past weekend.

Here’s a picture of them helping prepare breakfast over the fire. These are the memories we cherish most and they’ll never forget.

Kids by the fire.

It made me think about this quote and how fitting it is since we are the ones who are writing the stories of our lives.

“You’re writing the story of your life one moment at a time.” -Doc Childre and Howard Martin

I invite you to take the time to reflect on the things that matter most in life and make time for them.

Warmly,

Gretchen

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Imagining that Future Keeps You Going, But will You Make It Happen?

Imagining that Future Keeps You Going, But will You Make It Happen? “You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.” -John Green, Looking for Alaska

I love this quote because it rings so true for me. I find myself putting things off that I’d *really* like to do because I think it will be better when I have have more time, more money, when the kids are older, etc.

But, I’ve learned life’s not about the future. It’s about being in the present moment and taking action for our happiness now. Each day. We all know that we’re never promised tomorrow.  I invite you to always live for today.

For example, I always knew from a young age I wanted to have a horse but I repeatedly kept tucking that thought in my back pocket. Always wondering is the time right? Am I going to have enough time? I’ll have to plant a pasture and buy hay and build stalls. Say what? Do I have enough experience to care for a horse and the list went on and on. After all, they are a lot of work. 🙂   

Then, I realized that if I didn’t start to take action, that goal would easily slip by as time does. So, I created a plan of how to make it happen. In 2011 it all started with turning a cornfield into a pasture. Now it’s seven years later and I have two horses, a three-acre pasture, a seven-acre hay field, a barn just for my horses, an office in the barn and time to enjoy their awesomeness. It all started with saying yes to what I wanted rather than continuing to put it off.  

I’m so glad I didn’t let it pass me by.

What’s one thing you’ve been putting off doing because you’re waiting for something to happen before you take that action? Let me know in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

 

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Do You Feel Connected to the World?

Do You Feel Connected to the World?“We all think we are connected to the world now, but we are not talking to our neighbours any more.” -Jean-Michel Jarre

How true is the quote above? Do you feel connected to the world? If so, do you feel that the online world helps you to feel that way? I do and I’m really grateful for it.

And, you know what else I realized? We’ve now lived on our farm for nearly 10 years and I’ve only personally met one of my neighbors. Say what?!

When I really sit back and think about this, it makes me think why? At the other homes we’ve lived at, I knew all the neighbors. It’s nice having that neighbor you can borrow an egg or cup of sugar from without having to drive 15 minutes to the local market. Or have someone you can trust to come over and check on things while you’re away.

Does this ring true for you too?

If it does, I’m challenging you to go introduce yourself to at least one neighbor a week. I have two to go meet and I’m going to do this too. Why not? There’s nothing better than being connected to those who live right next door to you.

You in? Let’s do this!

Are you ready to make big things happen with small steps like this? If so, let’s talk! Grab a time on the calendar here for a free, no-pressure chat with me to talk about how I can help you create a plan to take the kind of action you need so you can be the person you’ve always pictured yourself being. I believe you can arrange your world so you can feel amazing about how you’re living YOUR life!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Connecting with others. Even when life is moving fast.

Connecting with others. Even when life is moving fast.I’d love to know, how connected do you feel to your friends? Your family? Your loved ones?

Do you feel like you’re always running around like a chicken with your head cut off? When you look back at last week’s schedule does it feel like a blur?

If things are always feeling rushed, how can you ever feel like you’re really connecting with your friends, co-workers and family? Jumping from one task to the next means you can cross those actions off your to-do list and feel productive but at what cost? For me, this doesn’t feel good but it happens.

If you feel like you’re always hurried and missing deep, meaningful connections to those around you, how would it feel if you were able to have sincere and authentic conversations with those that you spend the most time with? Imagine being able to fully listen to them without all the mind chatter or voices in your head.

Building relationships is just that – building.

You can tear them down, too. Perhaps when relationships fall apart, it’s even easier to see.

But building them can be just as easy to do if you shift your approach a tiny bit.

Now, I’m all in for going to get coffee with your old friend or co-worker to catch up on life or to get to know them but that takes time that you often don’t have. If you do, by all means, go get coffee with someone!

What I’m about to propose takes almost no time and very little effort. Seriously! It will help you to shore-up your relationship-building skills so you can more genuinely connect with, and enjoy those around you.

The approach?

Ask a question. The next time you’re sitting around on the sofa with a family member or when you run into someone in the breakroom, greet them and ask them a question. See, I promised this would be simple, right?

Here’s the catch.

It’s got to be a question that allows for more than a yes, no, or “I’m fine” kind of reply.

For example, “Hey Jen! How’s your dog doing? Is she still trying new ways to escape the backyard?”

You could ask how someone’s recovering after an injury, how their family member is doing or how the XYZ project is going. Once you get started, figuring out what to ask becomes easier.  

Remember, ask a question that isn’t designed to be ignored.

The person on the other side may or may not have time or energy to give a full response. If they do, great! You’re connecting and building your relationship with each other.

If they don’t give a meaningful answer, that’s okay, too because you’ve still done an action that strengthens the connection you have with that person. Don’t take it personally.

As you practice doing this, both of you will feel better about the other person. Why? Because you get to know them and they get to know you from taking this approach. You make each other “real” and see each other’s humanity.

Even if you wind-up butting heads during a meeting or about whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher, this relationship can better withstand that storm because it’s foundation is stronger. As a result, people are less likely to grenade a relationship because they know you better.

So go ask questions of the people in your life, no matter how close they are to you. Let me know if it this technique helps to build better relationships for you. I’m willing to bet you’ll feel a lot more connected without scheduling a coffee date with everyone you know.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Remember that Instant Friendship With Someone?

Remember that Instant Friendship With Someone? Do you ever feel an instant connection with someone?

When you literally meet them for the first time and feel like you’ve known them a lifetime? I’ve only felt that feeling a few times in my adult life and it’s quite magical. I’m actually still friends with the few that made me feel that way. I consider myself lucky.

You begin to converse with one another and are eager to continue the conversation. You remain focused and fully present. You’re both listening and value what one another has to say. Trust comes naturally and a friendship or bond is created.

These energetic connections are few and far between.

It’s not often you find someone who truly listens and makes you feel seen and heard. If you have people like this in your life, consider them a gift. You are lucky too!

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” ? Brené Brown

This quote of Brené Brown’s really resonates with the idea of connecting with others through genuine listening. The kind that makes people feel deeply seen and heard without judgement.

Where have you felt this kind of two-way, connected relationship? If you remember that feeling of authentic friendship that naturally unfolded, it felt great, right? So my question for you…

How can you foster that kind of connection as you move through your week?

If you don’t know where to start to create this kind of supportive connection with others, know that I understand how you feel. When we leave school, or a job, or move, it can create a break with these kinds of relationships that can be hard to keep going from a distance and hard to replicate that deep kind of friendship. If this feels like something you want to change so you feel more grounded and connected with those around you, and make it easier to find your kindred spirits, I can help. Click here to grab a quick, no pressure chat with me to talk about helping you make it happen.

I want you to have all the joys in life and this is a huge part of it. I know you can build your life to look the way you want! I’m rooting for you!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Are You Nudging Your Success Forward?

Are You Nudging Your Success Forward? How much exercise are you getting?

How much journaling and mindwork are you doing to make your life better?

Are you finding yourself hitting the drive-thru at the fast food place instead of making a healthy lunch?

Why is it that doing these kinds of activities feel like a chore?—Even when you know how much better you’d feel after doing them.

Maybe it’s that you don’t feel like you have enough time for them? Maybe you’re overwhelmed and overworked and can’t see how in the world these good habits can be worked into your schedule?

I totally hear you!!

But…

What if you considered these very important tasks as mandatory?  What if exercise and food prep were as important to your success as writing that perfect email or meeting your client deadline?

How would your week be different if it was structured to focus on a kind of success that counts on you incorporating these things that are missing into your routine?

What if you considered these elements as part of your JOB even though people don’t typically think they should be?

Why should you approach being successful this way?

Because if you don’t value these elements, you won’t do them.

However, if you treat them like a part of your job, you can get them done and move further ahead than you thought.

If you step back and really look at your schedule and your goals, you might just surprise yourself by the wiggle room you can find to incorporate the things you care about and that you truly need worked into your regular routine.

When you shift your perspective, that client call, responding to emails, or reviewing text, it starts to be as equally important as journaling for your mindset, getting in a good workout, and eating healthy.

How?

Ask yourself, what’s one thing that you need to add to your schedule. Maybe it’s an exercise class? Can you do a morning workout at the start of your day or maybe at lunch? Can you set up a treadmill desk? Can you find one single exercise to do every day, even if it’s small like touching your toes?

Maybe you have a cranky boss who you fear might not be into the idea of you coming in a little late or leaving for lunch a little early. Can you convince the boss or your co-worker to exercise at the same time as you? Odds are they need these success elements worked into their routine, too. 😉

I encourage you to get creative and think about ways you can make this idea work.

It is very likely that your mind will try to trick you by telling you that you can’t or don’t need to exercise, eat healthy or whatever your “additional” thing is. This is very common since what you’re wanting to do is not a part of your normal routine. It’s easy to stay comfortable with what we’ve been doing, even though we want more.

If you want more, you have to make changes to get it. The reason your mind starts sending those “no” thoughts your way is only your primal, lizard brain trying to keep you safe. I encourage you to really listen to your body and heart rather than what your head is likely going to tell you.

Your ultimate goal is to focus on what you can do to make exercise or writing or meditating or eating healthy a regular habit.

It can feel nuts to think of it this way but when you start to upgrade your everyday by treating your nice-to-have elements as equals with your have-to-have elements, it automatically makes it easier to work more efficiently, with more clarity and more successfully.

You reach the results you want MUCH faster when you look at your job and life with a holistic approach like this. You’ll find that when you take care of the elements that feel like “nice-to-haves” everything else is better.

If you look at some of the most successful people out there, you’ll find that they attribute much of their success to this approach of treating what they once considered nice-to-haves as must-haves. Wildly successful people like Marie Forleo and Tim Ferriss and have found the wiggle room and see the difference this holistic approach has on their success. You can, too!

I committed to doing more exercise and eating better by hiring a health coach who I adore. This requires me to make time for 30 minutes of exercise each day and to prep my meals each day. We’re talking serious grocery lists and meal proportions.

Even though I’m sore from my new routine, I’m 100% committed. I can see how it’s going to make me and even my family more successful. My energy levels are rising and I know I’ll be able to translate what I learn from working out and planning my meals to my business so I can be more successful.

I challenge you to give it a try. What’s one area where you think you can find a way to wedge in that good-for-you thing? Let me know in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Always planning for Worse Case Scenario?

Always planning for Worse Case Scenario? A must read! Does life feel like it’s humming along just fine, however, you still feel worried about what’s to come?

Even if life is stable—you’ve got a great job, your kids are doing well, you’re healthy—feeling uncertain about all the things that are most important to you can still happen.

It’s easy to feel like you’re always waiting for the next unforeseen “thing” to occur. This can make you go into total “worse case scenario” mode. Have you been there?

Worse case scenario mode is when you try to plan for every possible outcome, most of which are bad, that race through your mind. This is so you feel prepared for anything that might come your way.

In the process of preparing for what can feel like a battle all the time, the joy of the day or month can easily evaporate. The thoughts racing through your mind take you away from being in the present moment. It can keep you in this worry zone, making you feel like you can’t come up for air.

When you notice this starting to happen, what can you do?

Dig In

Take a look at what you want. Not what someone else wants but what YOU want. As if no one else were a part of your world, what would you want to do, to have, to feel?

  • What makes you glow?
  • Who do you love to spend time with?
  • What makes you happy?
  • What makes you laugh?
  • What makes you feel strong?
  • What makes you feel proud?
  • What makes you feel loved?

Did the answer to those come to you right away or did it send you into a little bit of a panic?

Constant worrying creates a whirl of urgent activity and it leaves little room for considering what matters most to you.

Skip It?

Does it feel easier to keep reading instead of stopping to answer those questions? If it does, I urge you to stop and go back to answer those questions as much as you can right now.

Yep, head back up to that list and jot down the first thing that comes to mind for each. Even if it feels imperfect, keep going. You know what they say, first thought is the best thought. Don’t overthink it. 🙂

Way to Go!

Now that you’ve come up with some answers for those questions, you know more about what YOU want out of life. This is what you emotionally want to feel like and what you physically want out of life. It’s like your life wish list.

Knowing what you (yes specific to just you!) want in life helps to cut your to-do list in half because you will have likely knocked off half of the things, or at the very least, have moved them from the “need” category to the “nice to have” category on your list.

Knowing what you want means that you’ll feel less anxious, panicked and worried about life.

You’ll feel more confident, more capable, and like you are up to the challenge of taking on the world.

What’s something in your answers that surprised you most? What’s one that really excited you? And most importantly, what are a few things you can put in place to get those things?

Here’s to you making that life wish list happen! Everything is possible if you believe in yourself!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Fearing the Future? How to Get Through It

Fearing the Future? How to Get Through ItI’d love to know if you worry a lot about the future?

Maybe it’s about how to make that project work, if you can get a different job soon, if you’ll be able to get enough clients to pay the bills, and if you’ll make mistakes that will totally derail you from your big goals? If you said yes, I can totally relate!

Worrying about the future is a waste of time, though. That might sound like an I’ve-gone-too-far statement, but it’s true.

This kind of fretting and worrying is dangerous because it can become a loop that you get stuck in.

Thinking about ALL of those things that may or may not come to pass; and ALL of those things that you know you’ll need to do, can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. It can be beyond overwhelming. Maybe you’ve even seen this happen?

When you fret over what’s going to happen in the future, you’re not taking action to actually change the outcome of your future. And, it’s absolutely taking away from the present moment. So, what can you do when you’re worried about the future and start to feel that pile-up of thoughts hit you?

FOCUS

Write down only the three most important things that are for you to do (not think about) in the next week and the next month. These two lists might be different and they might overlap.

For example…

This week, the three most important things for me to focus on are: 1) Truly focus on being present + creating memories with my daughter while we’re in Florida, 2) Layout the action plan for a new program offering and 3) Finish my client work.

This month, the three most important things for me to focus on are: 1) Creating a new opt-in, 2) Connecting with past clients and 3) Updating the coaching package copy on my website.

STOP

Take a break from what you’re doing and go do something else. This will disrupt your thought pattern and pull you off the overwhelm path.

SLOWER

Tell yourself that instead of speeding up and racing toward the finish line, that you’re going to slow it all down. This allows you to focus on just one thing at a time and feel less chaotic.

STORIES

These worries are actually stories that you’re making up in your mind. Many of the things you worry about never come to pass. Holding this in your mind (or on a post-it note hanging by your desk) may help to stop the future-tripping that’s happening in your head.

FOLLOW THE FEAR

One way to get rid of the stories is to map them out. Follow the story all the way through.

Ask yourself if x happens, what happens next? Then next? Then after that? How does the story end? Is the ending worse or better than the level of fear you gave to it? ….usually, it’s a lot less.

The next time you feel like your worries about the future start to pop-up, which one of the suggestions above will you try to help pull you out of the spin? Let me know in the comments.

With much love and warm wishes,

Gretchen

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If you don’t ask…

If you don’t ask...I think it’s true that we all experience in some way, shape or form a little hesitation at times when it comes to asking for what we need or want. At least I know that to be true for me.

It feels like too big of an ask or risk, and there’s always the looming fear of being rejected.

One thing, that I always find to be true and remind myself of often, is that if I don’t move forward with what it is that I want, I’ll never get it. Or the answer will always be no!

So if you find yourself wanting to launch that offer, ask for a raise, hire that coach, or even build a new house (yes, I went there…we shall see;)), please do it!

You deserve it and owe it to yourself.

The worst case scenario is that those things won’t become a reality and the truth is, had you never asked it wouldn’t have happened anyways. I invite you to not hold back and take the chance.

I found this quote to be quite fitting, “If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.” ~ Nora Roberts

I wish for you to ask for all that you need and desire in life. So, let me know in the comments, what will you ask for?  

Gretchen

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When is the last time you did something that was just for you?

When is the last time you did something that was just for you?I’d love to know, do you ever find yourself feeling in a funk but not sure how to get out of it? Maybe you’re not sure what to do to recharge your own batteries? An especially busy time of year can have that effect on us.

So tell me, what do you do in your free time?

Okay, I know you probably don’t feel like you have free time but if you magically had some appear, say an appointment cancelled or you got a few snow days, what would you most want to do that helped you to feel strong and energized?

Seriously, something that’s not a chore or designed to help you get ahead for the next day or week?

When is the last time you did something that was just for you? That was not a chore or out of a sense of obligation? Something that filled your energy bucket?

One thing I did this past weekend was give myself permission to rest. On Saturday, even though it was unusually warm here in Ohio, I rested for the majority of the afternoon. It felt so good and I didn’t even feel guilty about it.

For me, that’s huge! And I knew from the events that took place the day before that I needed to refuel to feel good.

If it was too long ago for you to recall or you’re not sure you know what to do to recharge, keep reading.

Is it your mind, body or soul that needs an uplift?

When you feel depleted, notice what area it is that you need help with.

Mind

If it’s your mind, what can you do to switch it up and get more into your body? What workout can you go and do? Maybe a yoga, dance or cycling class? Maybe a long walk through the park? Maybe some time in silence?

Body

If it’s your body that needs to be rejuvenated, what can you do to give it extra attention and a change from the usual? A massage or a mani/pedi? Maybe a healthy, home cooked meal where you know all the ingredients that are in it.

Soul

If you’re not sure what needs to be recharged, I put this into the soul category. You may want to plan a vacation or an art retreat so you have something to look forward to. Would it feel good to plan a lunch or coffee date with a friend?

Journaling or drawing around a topic that seems to be gnawing at you can be helpful, too. Start with one idea and keep writing, bulleting ideas or drawing about it from that seed idea. Notice if it helps you work through the “thing” that makes you feel less than 100%.

If you’re not sure what you need, let’s talk (on the house, of course). I’m happy to chat with you to help figure out what you need to feel high-energy and ready to make your regular life better like you know it can be. Click here to schedule a FREE, twenty minute call with me.

I’d love to help you get a step ahead and feeling good about your life!

Here’s to your amazing, fulfilling life. Go get it!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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