How to Show Up Like the Real YOU

How to Show Up Like the Real YOUI’ve been thinking a lot about how I show up for work and my everyday life.

What I wear (who do I have meetings with?), what I feel like (am I rushed or frenzied?) and am I enjoying the process (hey, work can be fun).

I’ve found that if I really think about how I want to show up and act, and set an intention for the day, it shifts my outlook to a much more positive one. I used to come at this from a different angle, though.

When in corporate America, I would think about how my co-worker would see me if I came to work wearing an outfit that wasn’t what the company was used to seeing. Or how my boss would respond if I didn’t’ say something pleasant when asked, “how’s it going”.

I thought I had to wear the work “uniform”.

And I thought that I had to keep a perky, happy, I’ve-got-it-all-together attitude all the time. Both of these things were exhausting constraints to live within.

When I shifted my thinking to make choices about how I wanted to respond to the world versus how I thought the world expected me to respond, things really changed.

I started asking myself questions like:

  • What do I want to wear today that will be comfortable, enjoyable to wear and show my professionalism?
  • How can I communicate in a way that’s authentic, respectful, genuine and doesn’t leave me feeling like I wished I’d said more but didn’t because I didn’t want to rock the boat?

Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Being here and showing up every day in a way that feels authentic and right for you is the only way to not feel stuck over the long haul.

I can see how each choice I make translates into deciding how I show up in a supportive way or a way that leaves me feeling like I could have done better. Do you ever notice that about yourself?

Deciding how to show up is done in tiny steps throughout the day.

It culminates in a day well spent doing all of the things you have to do in the best way possible. So you feel good at the end of a day. Those days add up to weeks and months that are more satisfying and give you confidence to do what you need to do.

How are you showing up each day?

  • Did you decide what to wear today based on your needs?
  • Did you decide how to communicate something in a way that was genuine to you?

How about in other areas of your life?

Do you want to eat prepared food or would it be better to make a few meals on the weekend so you can avoid feeling like there’s no time?

Do you want to exercise because it’ll build your confidence in how you look and interact with people? Then go for that walk this morning or head to the gym after work!

Do you want to have a group of friends that you can easily hangout with? How about scheduling a coffee date with an acquaintance to start building your friendship?

Where else can you see opportunities so show up in a way that supports who you want to be?

What’s one decision you made today that you made based on your needs? Please share with me in the comments. I’d love to hear how this works for you!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Want to Feel Rich? Track Your Abundance

Want to Feel Rich? Track Your AbundanceDo you ever feel like you’re constantly being nickeled and dimed? Another bill or an unexpected expense can really leave you feeling like you’re dwindling down to your last penny. Not much fun to sit in that state, right?

Maybe money IS kind of hard to come by right now. You could be between jobs or considering leaving a job. Maybe you’ve had medical expenses that have left you feeling like your finances are a little tight.

Isn’t it strange that when finances feel strained, everything else starts to feel stressful, too?

That’s why when my friend told me about a process that helps you to see how much you’ve earned, saved and the value that’s existing in your world, I thought it was a great way to really take stock in how much you REALLY have in your life.

It helps you to see and feel the abundance that surrounds you but that you might be missing.

It lets you track how much you have in a totally new way that you’ve probably never considered.

This process for tracking your abundance really supports the quote I shared last week: “Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.” by Wayne Dyer.

This handy tracking process makes it possible to tune into your abundance which allows you to feel confident in your decision making, un-stressed when things don’t go as you planned and more like life is going the way you want.

It was created by Denise Duffield-Thomas. I’m not an affiliate of hers but I love her idea for this so much that I had to share it with you. Especially if it helps you to feel a little more abundant in life.

The Idea Behind It

You track the pennies you found on the ground, the dinner someone prepared for you, the coupon you used at the store, the change you found in the sofa cushions, the $10 your friend handed you to help cover gas costs, the kind person driving in front of you who paid your bridge toll and all kinds of other kismet kindness that comes your way.

A cool part of this is that not only are you counting money, you’re also counting anything that has value to it like maybe you bought something that turned out to be an unexpected two for one deal.

How To Track Your Abundance

Grab your phone or a notepad and every day for a week write down all the money and value that comes your way. Yes, this includes your paycheck, birthday gifts, and change found in your coat pocket that you haven’t worn in a while.

If you want, Denise Duffield-Thomas has a PDF, a Google doc and an iPhone app that you can download to make it easier.

Check out her process for tracking abundance and let me know what you think about the idea in the comments. And, if you want to download one of her tracking devices, there’s a link to them at the end of that article.

Here’s to your tracking all the things that you see and can count as abundance coming your way!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Need a Change of Attitude?

Need a Change of Attitude?Have you ever hung out with a family member or friend who always seems like a total downer because after the thousandth interaction with them you notice that they only complain or have a negative approach with everything they say.

They embody the phrase, “If you give them a rose, they’ll complain about the thorns”.

This attitude can spread to you and before you know it, you’re in the same negative mindset and talking in the same dreary, negative way. Uggh!

Or, maybe you’re the person complaining about the thorn in that lovely bouquet of roses! What?? We’ve all been there and it’s not easy to catch yourself when that happens, right?

It’s so frustrating when you realize this is going on and, there’s also a way to right the ship when it happens. Quite frankly, a way to avoid it all together.

What if you could help get your negative-nelly friend or co-worker out of that awful attitude, too? It’s totally possible.

Like an editor makes a book sound better, you can also wield your own “red pen” to re-shape the words you use to describe your situation. This means you can reset your attitude and usually avoid getting there from the start.

The Key?

Edit your words.

Words work as symbols and influence your way of thinking. This means you can create your own reality. Good or bad. Why not go after shaping a positive reality for yourself?

My children are one way that has helped to change the way my words shape my day and it’s this same editing process that can help you, too.

You reposition your phrases to be positive and about what you want. For example, “Aiden, the fork is for putting the spaghetti into your mouth.” vs. “Aiden, don’t dig the fork into the table.”

See how the first sentence sounds more positive than the second one? You can do this with your own words to amazing effect. It can change your attitude for the better no matter the situation at hand.

Once you get into the practice of it, it becomes a habit. Your good outlook on the world will show and spread to those around you. You’ll be and come across to others as a calm, cool and collected person in control of their world. Folks will want to be around you more.

At the end of a day, you’ll feel better about all of the good you’ve accomplished instead of focusing too much on the negative stuff that happened. You’ll be able to shake off the yucky parts of your day more easily.  

Okay, now try it for yourself. The next time you find yourself saying “I can’t do XYZ”, try to rephrase it so it’s positioned in a more positive light. For example, you might find yourself saying, “I can’t do that because I don’t have enough time/money/space.”

You could rephrase it to say something along the lines of, “I can do that if I want to re-arrange my schedule to make time for it next week.” Or, I can buy the organic produce if I’m better at planning my meals so I don’t eat out as much. Or, “I can work on that project in my backyard when it’s sunny so I don’t need a bigger space inside to do it.”

Once you’ve tried re-phrasing your words to be more positive, let me know in the comments if you felt a difference in your outlook when you changed your words to support a more positive attitude. I think you might be surprised when you try this.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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5 Ways to Create a Positive Attitude

5 Ways To Creat a Positive AttitudeWithout a positive attitude, it’s nearly impossible to grow and be able to do all of the things that you enjoy most.

When you’re feeling stuck in a less-than-helpful attitude, it can be hard to figure out what you’re really good at doing and stop you from really going after it.

Seeing how a positive attitude works in my life and with my clients, has shown me that it’s truly worth it to find ways to create a positive attitude. By making a good attitude a habit, you can keep reaching and achieving the big things you want out of life instead of stagnating and feeling stuck with what you have even though you know you could be and do more in this world.

When, just like with horses, 60% to 90% of your communication is nonverbal, the way you hold yourself not only shows others your attitude but yourself, too.

If you find yourself sitting with your shoulders up to your ears, squinting at the computer screen with what some might call a scowl on your face, you’ve just observed that you might not be in the best mindset.

Here are 5 things you can do to help get your attitude headed in a positive direction.

1. Own It – You Can Change Your Mind

Remind yourself that own your attitude which means you can change it. There is always a choice that you make when your respond to something. By this I mean that you get to pick which perspective you want to take on a topic.

It’s easy to forget that there are options. Next time you find yourself reacting in a way that makes you unhappy, pretend you’re that super optimistic friend of yours. What would they say in that situation? How would they respond?

2. Know It’s Temporary

Realize that a bad mood will pass. A bad project will pass. A bad conversation will pass.

Sometimes just knowing that your attitude will improve soon as things change over a short period of time allows you to hang on and keep a sliver of positivity when otherwise you might jump into despair. Much like having a bad head cold, a negative attitude sometimes needs to be waited-out.

If you can remember while you’re in the middle of it that it’ll eventually subside, grab ideas 3, 4 and 5 below to help pull you out of it faster.

3. Smile

Because it’s proven to make you happier. Yep, all of the things you physically do change the chemicals in your body and how you feel about yourself.

So smile, put your hands behind your head and feet up on your desk, or strike a “Wonder Woman” hands-on-hips power-pose to get your can-do attitude on the rise.

Hold that position for 2 minutes and you’ll have released chemicals in your body that get you feeling better about yourself and ready to take on your next thing. Professor Amy Cuddy’s Harvard research proves that these kinds of actions literally change the way you’re perceived by others and the way you feel about yourself.

4. Have 3 “Go-To Things”

What are three things that you’ve observed in the past that help get you to a more positive mood?

Does turning music on (and news off) help? Do you have a comedian that you love to watch? Go find some clips of them and get laughing.

I have a video of my daughter that cracks me up everytime I watch it. If you have a video like that, make sure you know where to find it the next time you need a little lift for a more positive attitude.

If you don’t have a child, here’s a video compilation of someone else’s who is pretty darn funny.

5. Complaint Department is Closed

Tell your family, friends and co-workers that the complaint department is closed for the day. If someone comes to you with a complaint, have a neutral response prepared. What can you think of now to say when this happens that will table the conversation until you feel ready to deal with it?

Maybe you ask them to find one or two ways to resolve whatever the problem is before they do a deep-dive venting session with you. Then tell them that you’ll be happy to talk about the issue after lunch, or tomorrow, whenever it’s more convenient for you to speak about it.

The goal here is to buy you time so you can get in a better frame of mind before you deal with an issue that might really pull you away from a positive attitude and the energy that you need to finish your project at hand.

What’s one thing that you do that helps to get you into a positive mood? Share it in the comments box so I can give it a try.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

 

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5 Ways to Structure Your Day to Stay Motivated

5WaysStuctureDayToStayMotivatedDo you feel like you lose steam every day?

Do you notice an unproductive lull that happens in the mornings or afternoon?

Does it drive you nuts when you realize that you’ve just lost another hour to Facebook when you went on there to find something work-related?

It can be SO frustrating when this happens, again and again. How does Facebook suck you in like that? How’d you lose track of your client’s big project?

You used to feel so motivated but it’s waning now and you don’t know why you just can’t push through the dull moments to reach the other *productive* side.

If this sounds a little (or a lot) like you, here five techniques you can use to structure your day to stay motivated:

Stake Out Your Day

First thing in the morning (or even the day before, if you can) decide on the one thing you MUST do and keep that at the forefront of your actions. Put that one thing first, wait, let me capitalize that for emphasis: FIRST.  You may get off track but you come back to that ONE thing (yep, capital letters again). This small dose of planning goes a long way and ensures your ship is sailing in the right direction.

Micro Celebrate

You take turtle steps like the ones I mentioned earlier to stay out of overwhelm. Every time you finish a step, you cross it off your list and then you do a micro celebration. This might look like a power fist bump raised high in the air, like a little happy dance, or like a verbalized “woot!” with a hand clap. You decide!

Any minor acknowledgment to you completing your task will work. You just have to give yourself that little boost of happiness when you finish a task so your brain starts to associate it with motivation.

Micro celebrations can really make a difference and help keep your motivation-mojo going all day long.

Ask for Accountability

You ask someone to check in on your project status. It could be a friend, colleague, family member or even someone far away. You can tell them exactly what to ask you about and on what day so they don’t need to spin their wheels on it at all.

Knowing that someone will help hold you accountable on that follow-up email that needs to be sent or ask if you got your about page updated is a big motivator to actually getting those things done because you don’t want to have to give a negative reply.

Pony-up for Childcare

If you’ve got kids, pony-up and get childcare in place! Do not feel badly about putting your sweet child in camps over the summer or lining up after school activities.

They’ll have a ton of fun and you will actually be able to get your work done without someone asking you to feed them, fix their bumps, take them somewhere or to watch that YouTube video you don’t really like them watching for the millionth time.

For example, if I’m doing an Equus coaching session, it only makes senses that my daughter will want to be there, fully in the mix. She loves the horses! Unfortunately, this would not only be distracting to me but also for my client so I don’t do it. I make sure she’s got another activity planned during my work time.

It’s not worth the stress and while you may feel like you’re saving on childcare, you’re not making room to earn more in your business.

Get Back Up On That Horse

When you get off track, notice it. Say, “Hello Off Track Mind, we’re heading back to the task at hand”. And then come back to that ONE thing that’s your task.

Be kind to yourself when this happens and gently re-direct yourself, knowing that it’s a part of the process. Expect it, see it and have a plan to move back to where you were.

Building habits like these will help you to tap into your motivation mojo and be able to structure your day to keep taking action to get ahead to support your bigger goals.

If you don’t do these things to stay motivated, you may lose focus, mess-up jobs which can lead to lost clients, and feeling pretty awful about yourself (never a good place to be).

Notice when you skip one of these practices.

How does it make you feel? How good is your end work product? Did you lose your mind because your day lost structure? Do you find yourself a bit more edgy or snappy towards the ones you love the most?

Observe how you feel when your day is planned, you know what you need to do, when you’re crossing things off your to-do list. Do you feel like you’re getting ahead and you’re more motivated?

Let me know in the comments what you notice when you get it right or when your day didn’t go as planned. Seeing and noticing what you learn is a huge part of keeping your motivation mojo going strong throughout your day.

Cheers to saddling up and motivating that motivation mojo!

With love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Stuck in Overwhelm? 3 Ways You Can Get Out of It

Stuck in Overwhelm? 3 Ways You Can Get Out of It When do you begin to notice you’re swamped with too much to do and that stress is starting to creep in?? Is it when you’ve nearly bitten the head off of a co-worker or family member (oops!)?

Or when you’re so dog-tired that you’re starting to make careless mistakes because you’ve been staring at the computer screen for what feels like a thousand hours? Around here we like to call that a case of having “mush brain”.

If this is the case, it may be too late to prevent the overwhelm feeling from setting in because you’ve just found yourself in the thick of feeling stressed out with too much on your plate, and too many deadlines to meet.

It can sneak up on you just like that. Fine one minute and then boom!, hello overwhelm-ville.

Last week we talked about taking turtle steps so you can see your progress as a way to get out of feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list.

This week we’re taking it a step further by giving you three totally different ways to cope with the stress of feeling like there’s too much on your plate.

Here are three techniques in different sizes that allow you to get a little separation from the project at hand that’s causing you pain.

SMALL:

You’re stuck at your desk and you’re about to lose it because you just realized that you forgot you needed to do that other part of the project, the one that essentially eats up any float time you might have had.

When this happens, take several deep breaths and feel your feet on the ground. Take note of your five senses. What do you smell? What do you hear? What do you taste? What do you see? What do you feel?

This will allow for you to come back to the present moment, feel grounded + centered and allow for you to think more clearly when deciding that next step.

MEDIUM:

Get up and take a break away from your project. This could be that you go get a glass of water, take a restroom break, go into a conference room and call a friend for a few minutes, surf social media, walk to the mailbox, or get out of the office by going to pick up lunch.

The key here is to physically get away from the project. And to spend a little more time doing something else than in the breathing exercise. This will give you a longer break from the overwhelm zone.

LARGE:

Go exercise. This could be as simple as walking around the block. Or it could be that at some point during the day, you go for a run, bike ride, horseback ride, head to the gym to workout, or take an exercise class.

This will really get you out of your head (and worries) and into your body and, in the present moment. It’s hard to stress out about all the stuff you’ve got to get done, let alone think about anything else but your body’s movements, when your boot camp coach is encouraging you to ride that stationary bike faster or do yet another squat.

The next time you find yourself all of a sudden feeling the pressure to get it all done pronto, pick just one of these techniques and notice how it helps you. The more you do it, the more you can train your mind to accept the break which will make it easier to get back to work, feeling like you can get it all done, no problem.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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