Think You Know What They’re Thinking?

Think You Know What They’re Thinking?Do you ever think you know what your significant other or partner is thinking?

Like you totally know what they are about to say and it makes you angry? And rather than asking them what’s on their mind or trying to talk it out, you keep your thoughts inside? Then, you wait and see what they actually say and it was nothing of the like.

Yeah, I’m guilty of that, too. What a waste of energy!

This quote says is so accurately: 

“A lack of communication breeds assumptions of what the other is thinking or feeling; and assumptions are, more often than not, incorrect.”

Next time you find yourself making up thoughts in your head about someone, I invite you to talk to them about what you’re thinking.

I can assure you you’ll feel so much better about it and be grateful that you did. We spend so much time assuming what others are thinking and feeling that we start to believe it. If we’d just ask and be open to conversation, we’d quit wasting so much time and likely worrying about things are that aren’t even true.

Give it a shot and let me know how it feels for you.

Warmly,

Gretchen

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Imagining that Future Keeps You Going, But will You Make It Happen?

Imagining that Future Keeps You Going, But will You Make It Happen? “You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.” -John Green, Looking for Alaska

I love this quote because it rings so true for me. I find myself putting things off that I’d *really* like to do because I think it will be better when I have have more time, more money, when the kids are older, etc.

But, I’ve learned life’s not about the future. It’s about being in the present moment and taking action for our happiness now. Each day. We all know that we’re never promised tomorrow.  I invite you to always live for today.

For example, I always knew from a young age I wanted to have a horse but I repeatedly kept tucking that thought in my back pocket. Always wondering is the time right? Am I going to have enough time? I’ll have to plant a pasture and buy hay and build stalls. Say what? Do I have enough experience to care for a horse and the list went on and on. After all, they are a lot of work. 🙂   

Then, I realized that if I didn’t start to take action, that goal would easily slip by as time does. So, I created a plan of how to make it happen. In 2011 it all started with turning a cornfield into a pasture. Now it’s seven years later and I have two horses, a three-acre pasture, a seven-acre hay field, a barn just for my horses, an office in the barn and time to enjoy their awesomeness. It all started with saying yes to what I wanted rather than continuing to put it off.  

I’m so glad I didn’t let it pass me by.

What’s one thing you’ve been putting off doing because you’re waiting for something to happen before you take that action? Let me know in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

 

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If you don’t ask…

If you don’t ask...I think it’s true that we all experience in some way, shape or form a little hesitation at times when it comes to asking for what we need or want. At least I know that to be true for me.

It feels like too big of an ask or risk, and there’s always the looming fear of being rejected.

One thing, that I always find to be true and remind myself of often, is that if I don’t move forward with what it is that I want, I’ll never get it. Or the answer will always be no!

So if you find yourself wanting to launch that offer, ask for a raise, hire that coach, or even build a new house (yes, I went there…we shall see;)), please do it!

You deserve it and owe it to yourself.

The worst case scenario is that those things won’t become a reality and the truth is, had you never asked it wouldn’t have happened anyways. I invite you to not hold back and take the chance.

I found this quote to be quite fitting, “If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.” ~ Nora Roberts

I wish for you to ask for all that you need and desire in life. So, let me know in the comments, what will you ask for?  

Gretchen

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How to Show Up Like the Real YOU

How to Show Up Like the Real YOUI’ve been thinking a lot about how I show up for work and my everyday life.

What I wear (who do I have meetings with?), what I feel like (am I rushed or frenzied?) and am I enjoying the process (hey, work can be fun).

I’ve found that if I really think about how I want to show up and act, and set an intention for the day, it shifts my outlook to a much more positive one. I used to come at this from a different angle, though.

When in corporate America, I would think about how my co-worker would see me if I came to work wearing an outfit that wasn’t what the company was used to seeing. Or how my boss would respond if I didn’t’ say something pleasant when asked, “how’s it going”.

I thought I had to wear the work “uniform”.

And I thought that I had to keep a perky, happy, I’ve-got-it-all-together attitude all the time. Both of these things were exhausting constraints to live within.

When I shifted my thinking to make choices about how I wanted to respond to the world versus how I thought the world expected me to respond, things really changed.

I started asking myself questions like:

  • What do I want to wear today that will be comfortable, enjoyable to wear and show my professionalism?
  • How can I communicate in a way that’s authentic, respectful, genuine and doesn’t leave me feeling like I wished I’d said more but didn’t because I didn’t want to rock the boat?

Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Being here and showing up every day in a way that feels authentic and right for you is the only way to not feel stuck over the long haul.

I can see how each choice I make translates into deciding how I show up in a supportive way or a way that leaves me feeling like I could have done better. Do you ever notice that about yourself?

Deciding how to show up is done in tiny steps throughout the day.

It culminates in a day well spent doing all of the things you have to do in the best way possible. So you feel good at the end of a day. Those days add up to weeks and months that are more satisfying and give you confidence to do what you need to do.

How are you showing up each day?

  • Did you decide what to wear today based on your needs?
  • Did you decide how to communicate something in a way that was genuine to you?

How about in other areas of your life?

Do you want to eat prepared food or would it be better to make a few meals on the weekend so you can avoid feeling like there’s no time?

Do you want to exercise because it’ll build your confidence in how you look and interact with people? Then go for that walk this morning or head to the gym after work!

Do you want to have a group of friends that you can easily hangout with? How about scheduling a coffee date with an acquaintance to start building your friendship?

Where else can you see opportunities so show up in a way that supports who you want to be?

What’s one decision you made today that you made based on your needs? Please share with me in the comments. I’d love to hear how this works for you!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Thoughts Become Things

Thoughts Become ThingsI don’t know where I originally heard this quote, “Thoughts become things” but it’s always stuck with me. And, I know it’s true.

I always try to focus on positive results since I’ve seen how it affects me in a negative way when I don’t. AND, because I’ve seen firsthand how it impacts me for the better when I maintain a positive mindset.

For example, this farm I live on wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t gotten on board with my husband’s proactive and positive thinking about it. He’s quite the visionary and big picture thinker. 😉

It was a big leap for us to try to buy the farm. Eight years ago, we didn’t know if we’d get approved loan-wise. Afterall, it was a huge investment and we currently already had a mortgage. And because we kept our thoughts focused in the right direction, our loan was approved and this place became our reality despite it not seeming logical or possible for that matter.

We’ve now got a modern barn, new Equus Coaching office, two horses, chickens, dogs and fields of produce on our dream property that has that beautiful tree-lined pond you see in the image (yes, that’s really my farm!).

I encourage you to hold this quote with you and have your thoughts say yes to some of the things you’ve been wanting. It allows for more, so many more possibilities to become real. Many that you wouldn’t even know are possible.

Let me know in the comments what thoughts of yours have become things.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Those Wise Words You Write While Day Dreaming

Those Wise Words You Write While Day DreamingWhile at the Equus training ranch in California for my second in-person training workshop, I created this doodle of words, well it’s more of a list, that resonated with me. I got to be there with my herd mates, all people who are also training to be certified in the Equus Coaching process.

During the training, while I was observing another herd mate who was in the round pen with a horse being coached, I was reflecting on what I was learning and honestly, what we we’re all learning. This doodle list is what came to me in a very profound way.

I could tell that I had learned a lot because I was able to really, keenly observe that not only had I learned in these areas, but I could feel the feels in these areas. I also found that many of the same themes came up for the other coaches-in-training. It got me thinking that maybe these are also areas that might come up for you.

Those Wise Words Your Write While Day DreamingA big part of training is to not only learn the Equus coaching process but to also participate and be coached using the tools that are given. It’s amazing to learn a craft through the very tools and techniques of that craft. In the software industry, this is called eating your own dog food but everywhere else, it’s more commonly known as practicing what your preach. 🙂

Months later these words still resonate for me since it was September when I created this doodle. It’s a constant practice to observe when I feel these feels and it’s been a very valuable one. These words and themes keep me on track and feeling balanced.

The words in parentheses are what each of the main words mean to me personally. They are all words I use often and I went deeper within myself to define what those mean and feel like to me.

It’s a great reminder of what to reflect on and believe in.

Do any of these words or themes resonate with you? Do you have your own words that you come back to time and time again?

I invite you to share 1-2 words or themes that have come up for you and how you personally define or add meaning to them. -Let me know in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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When Expectations Don’t Align

This is one of the Equus workshop horses who was a little distracted by the left over hay just outside of the pen but still within reach. Hey, who doesn't like to snack? :)

This is one of the Equus workshop horses who was a little distracted by the left over hay just outside of the pen but still within reach. Hey, who doesn’t like to snack? 🙂

From the moment I was asked, I knew that it would be amazing for me to volunteer to help another, more experienced coach, with her Equus workshop in Asheville, NC. I was honored to be asked. Even though I paid my own expenses and had to make arrangements to be away from caring for my family and my own horses, I could feel it in my gut that I had to say yes. So I did.

I’ve participated in a few workshops like this over the past year as part of my Equus Coach training so I went there feeling like I knew how the event would go. I was curious and excited to see firsthand how another coach would run this kind of team building workshop.

When I got to the ranch, after a drive up some seriously winding mountain roads (that made me a little car sick!), things started to look very different from what I envisioned. The horses were trained in a specific manner so that when you go into the pen, they come to you. This surprised me because most horses, being flighty animals, have a natural tendency to walk away.

I wondered how this would work with the Equus coaching process, and how we’d be able to create the experience for the group that I was familiar with. Usually a horse is sniffing, curious and will often come up to you while you’re talking with the coach because it’s a moment where you’re being your true self, where your actions are in alignment with your intentions. In this case, I worried it would be hard to get that experience because the horses were already in your space.

After I saw the coaching in action, those worries melted away. For this thirty-something entrepreneur who brought his team with him, they had no expectations about how the horses would be trained, or act. They had little to no horse experience so all this difference in what I was used to with horses never hit even their radar.

It was great because it allowed them to be very present, in the moment, and open to getting the most out the coaching experience. They really were able to learn more about themselves while also finding ways where they could work together as a better and more efficient team to reach their business goals.

So much so that three of the six found themselves tearing up during their individual coaching. Not from being scared about being in the pen with the horses or from the coach pushing them in any way, but from their discussions and the awareness that the coaching brought up. They’d discovered internal ah-ha moments that came from the process.

It was AMAZING.

New understandings came up around how they work together as a cohesive group, too. One example is of a non-verbal herding exercise where the owner of the company was paired with one of his employees. They had 12 minutes to work together to try to get the horse to go through some obstacles—all without talking. The goal was to work together.

After the exercise, they  noticed the owner took charge and the team member followed. It showed they weren’t working together as well as they could have. The takeaway for them was that he needed to check in with her so they could be working towards the same goals at the same time to help their sales. Had they connected more with one another, they would have accomplished more. This showed how they can work better together back at the office.

I had a few takeaways from this experience, too. I left with a new awareness of my own expectations for this kind of event, since I’ll be hosting my own soon, and how to check those expectations. I always try my best to be  in the moment and know now that I can trust that if I follow my process, even if it’s different from other coaches, I’ll get my private clients and group participants the results and experience that they were looking for.

Hiccups and distractions, like horses who are a wee bit distracted by eating leftover hay in the pen, happen no matter where you’re located. If you’re the host or the participant, unexpected things happen. Trusting in the Equus coaching process works, even if it might look a little different from what you expected at first.

How do you deal with a situation when things don’t go as expected? Does it make your mind spin? Do you begin to doubt the process and question your thoughts?  Leave a comment to let me know how this has worked for you in the past and if it was positive experience or a bit tougher.

With much gratitude,

Gretchen

P.S. Do you know someone else who would enjoy reading this? Please forward this post to them. I’d be forever grateful.

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