People May Hear Your Words, But They Feel Your Attitude

Maybe this quote should say “People and horses might hear your words but they feel your attitude.” In the case of doing a coaching session with a horse as the co-facilitator, like I’m doing now with Equus Coaching, this is completely the case.

In fact, this is how Equus Coaching works. The horse can feel or read your attitude and if it matches what you’re saying. This interaction with the horse keeps you honest and congruent.

If your words match your attitude and what you really feel, the horse will want to come closer to you. If it doesn’t, it’s your opportunity to dig deeper and figure out what else needs to be addressed so your actions match your words.

This straight-forward process sounds simple and it is, but it’s also the kind of experience that leaves you feeling like you just had a major breakthrough with something that was holding you back. Or that you finally understand why you did something that didn’t work out. It’s amazing to see in action.

Equus Coaching is a way to for us humans to understand how others are really perceiving us and feeling our attitude. I really strive to find the positive in any negative situation, especially if it’s something I can’t change. So, like with a horse-based coaching session, if you’re showing an angry and upset attitude, people won’t be able to listen to you. Learning firsthand how this works is so helpful to getting ahead.

As I’ve been doing Equus Coaching sessions, I’ve seen attitudes lift and ah-ha moments happen. People end the session walking a little taller, more confident and excited to get back to their life with this new understanding of themselves. It’s been amazing to see it happen.

The next time you’re in a public setting, notice when someone’s words aren’t matching their attitude. Maybe it’s a grumpy greeter at a restaurant or an overworked barista whose words are pleasant, but you can tell they don’t match how they feel.

Let me know in the comments if you’ve noticed this before. How did it compel or repel you towards or from that person?

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Don’t Stop Until You’re Proud

Don't Stop Until You're Proud

This quote really reflects how I feel about my new office! I am SO PROUD to have this beautiful space as my new coaching HQ!

After a few months of planning, my amazingly talented husband, Shane, built this office space in our barn so I can be completely in my element when I’m doing Equus coaching sessions.

We’ve been working on it in our spare time since January and all that’s left is to put art on the walls. What do you think we should put up?

I do have a big open window that faces out into the round pen where Sunny is always patiently waiting for his next coachee. He’s quite the lover!

What’s a project that you worked on until you were proud of it? Let me know below in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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You’ve Always Had the Power My Dear

You've always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself. -Wizard of OzI’ll admit, I wasn’t sure if I was qualified to do the Equus training program because I wasn’t sure if I could be a coach. However, I decided to take the plunge and as I went through the training, I realized I did have the courage to actually do it.

I’ve always had the willingness to say yes and do big things but I lacked the confidence. I went through the Equus Coach Training and I realized I had the confidence and power to do it all along.

Where have you felt this in your life?

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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How Do Other People See You?

How Do Other People See You?Do others see you differently than you see yourself?

Do they think you’re smart, organized, or successful? Are you likeable?

Or maybe they think you’re lazy, over confident or a complainer?

We’ve all got stories in our minds of how *we think* other people or the “everybody’s” perceive us. But in reality, those stories are a giant blind spot and we aren’t all that sure how we’re viewed.

Since we’re all inside our own minds and bodies, it’s hard to get a full, 360 degree view of ourselves. Sometimes this blind spot presents itself as a mysterious disconnect. “Why did they act that way towards me?? Or “How come I didn’t get that job?”

Sometimes the blind spot results in lack of trust in yourself or is the basis for patterns in your life that you hate to see pop up again and again.

What if you could know how others see you?

Body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice all play a part. They tell people right away how much they can trust us and how authentic we are.

Sometimes we carry ourselves and express ourselves in ways that we don’t even realize. From simple things such as how a person might not stand up straight all the time or how someone else might, out of habit, always ask questions that they already have the answer to. Both of these are things those people don’t know they’re doing and if they knew how it was shaping the way others see them and their potential, they might decide to adjust how they show up in that area.

So the question is, how do you figure this out? Do you survey your family and friends? Your co-workers (gah!)? Maybe take an online personality test but can you really trust that?

There’s an easier way and if you’ve been following my work for a while, you’ll be able to guess that yes, it involves horses.

Stepping into a round pen with a horse is one of the fastest ways to learn what’s hidden in your personal blindspot. It’s far better than surveying your friends or taking an online quiz because a horse never judges you and more importantly, it never lies. The horse will always mirror back to you how you are feeling internally while all being done nonverbally.

Most every time a client is in the round pen experiencing the Equus coaching process, they have an ‘ah-ha!’ moment.

This experience, without ever getting on a horse, amps up their confidence because of what they’ve learned from those ah-ha moments. These discoveries put those disquieting, I-know-things-could-be-better worries at bay.

They finally give them a glimpse into how others see and react to them every day. They’re able to understand patterns and behaviors that aren’t serving their needs. And, they’re able to take action to change them immediately.

One example is if a person has issues with boundaries. This helps them put themselves first, and finally create a life that they want instead of playing small, only pleasing others and never reaching their full potential.

It means having solid confidence, feeling empowered and taking charge of life.

Through the horse’s’ ability to validate actions, blind spots are reflected back to help each person see a better path to reaching their goals. Being able to see how others perceive them means they can change unhelpful habits to create and enjoy the life they’ve always wanted.

Have you ever worried how other people see you and how it might be shaping your life? Or do you feel like you have habits that are hard to put your finger on that are getting in your way? Let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear how this shows up for you.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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Those Wise Words You Write While Day Dreaming

Those Wise Words You Write While Day DreamingWhile at the Equus training ranch in California for my second in-person training workshop, I created this doodle of words, well it’s more of a list, that resonated with me. I got to be there with my herd mates, all people who are also training to be certified in the Equus Coaching process.

During the training, while I was observing another herd mate who was in the round pen with a horse being coached, I was reflecting on what I was learning and honestly, what we we’re all learning. This doodle list is what came to me in a very profound way.

I could tell that I had learned a lot because I was able to really, keenly observe that not only had I learned in these areas, but I could feel the feels in these areas. I also found that many of the same themes came up for the other coaches-in-training. It got me thinking that maybe these are also areas that might come up for you.

Those Wise Words Your Write While Day DreamingA big part of training is to not only learn the Equus coaching process but to also participate and be coached using the tools that are given. It’s amazing to learn a craft through the very tools and techniques of that craft. In the software industry, this is called eating your own dog food but everywhere else, it’s more commonly known as practicing what your preach. 🙂

Months later these words still resonate for me since it was September when I created this doodle. It’s a constant practice to observe when I feel these feels and it’s been a very valuable one. These words and themes keep me on track and feeling balanced.

The words in parentheses are what each of the main words mean to me personally. They are all words I use often and I went deeper within myself to define what those mean and feel like to me.

It’s a great reminder of what to reflect on and believe in.

Do any of these words or themes resonate with you? Do you have your own words that you come back to time and time again?

I invite you to share 1-2 words or themes that have come up for you and how you personally define or add meaning to them. -Let me know in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

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How One Woman Quit Doing What Everyone Else Expected

http://gretchenchristy.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/HowOneWoman.pngWhen I decided to learn more about working with horses to do life coaching, it had a lot to do with how I felt after experiencing the the impressive Equus coaching skills of Koelle Simpson.

There are not many instances in life when you commit to something that really changes you for the better in such a surprisingly pleasant way. The feeling that “EVERYTHING is different now and that’s okay.  I CANNOT believe it happened so quickly like that” is one that stays with you.

So, I recommend that you give yourself ten minutes to experience a taste of that for yourself by reading this article from Oprah Magazine.

The story shows how one busy professional with a husband, two teenagers and her own demanding, full time job goes from being so easily angered that she was almost fired for an argument about which font to use (ack!) to the kind of woman whose teenagers start confiding in her (impressive!).

If you ever feel over-committed, stressed out by your financial situation or trapped by what you’re doing in life (or why you’re doing it), it’s a read that you’ll fully appreciate. And, you’ll probably pick up a few tips along the way.

After you read the article, leave a note in the comments or on the Facebook page to let me know how it moved you? What resonated for you?

I’d love to know if reading this article allowed you to see new paths that you might take and apply to your own life. Personally, I think it’s the next best thing to being in the round pen with a horse and life coach yourself.

With much gratitude,

Gretchen

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Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.

Start where you are.....Have you ever had something big about to happen but planning for it and making sure it was done to your expectations was sucking the life out of you? Even though it was something you reeeeeallly wanted to do, and had been in the making for years?

Recently it felt like my worries were everywhere. Seemingly a million things to do to get ready to coach clients in-person with my horses. It didn’t seem like there was enough time or resources to do it all the way I envisioned. Every solution I came up with fell short of my *ideal* way for my clients to have an amazing experience.

Is my barn perfect for coaching? Is my office-to-be too much of a wreck because it’s still under construction? Is the horse pen perfect? Will my horses behave properly with this coaching process? Is it too cold to do this kind of coaching in the winter months??

I was essentially only seeing one way that my coaching sessions could go.

The pressure I was putting on myself left me feeling stressed out and like I had mush brain by the end of the day. It started to make me feel like the log-jam related to my Equus Coaching was causing log-jams in other areas of my life, too.

Then the quote “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” by famous tennis player, Arthur Ashe got me thinking (I had posted it on my Facebook page a while back). I have a barn, a horse pen and horses of my very own. While they may not always be “perfect” in my coaching fantasy world, they are still great, and they’re the core components needed for my Equus Coaching.

Coming back to that quote made me realize that I hold high expectations for myself and I’m very attached to the outcome. Seeing this is a huge awareness for me and it’s a practice to let go of some of that and be in the moment so I’m not so attached to the outcome of the smaller things. I realized I could focus on the bigger things, like the things I do have in place to make my Equus Coaching possible and my clients having an amazing coaching experience.

I could see that I needed to start my Equus coaching following the ideas from that quote. -Starting where I am. Using what I have. And by doing what I can. I could throw out the other ideas of renting a potentially costly facility and horses at a stable for hire, or worrying about the weather. I found ways to work around my fears so that I could show up and give each client the best possible coaching experience with my horses that I can. Even if things weren’t as I had first envisioned them, it was going to be okay.

This is a sign of growth for me, and possibly for you, too. Every time a person starts to feel stuck or overwhelmed by something new or big in their life, it’s a sign of learning and that you’re probably doing exactly what you need to do to grow your business or your personal life.

It can be painful, it can feel like an elephant is sitting on you, but know that when big changes are afoot, it brings up big mind-set issues, too. Know that it’s part of the growth process and that with awareness and observing you can get past the log-jam, whatever it might be. Know that the work on learning and mindsets never stops so you have to be able to see it and develop strategies to get past it.

Is there an area in your life where you’re trying something new or considering doing something big? Do you find yourself procrastinating on taking action when this happens? How do you get yourself unstuck? Do you recognize any patterns in what happens for you? If so, let me know in the comments.

With much gratitude,

Gretchen

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Private Complimentary Equus Coaching Session – You’re officially invited to try it!

Equus Coaching Horse PenYou know I’ve been working on my Equus coaching certification for over a year now. My goal is to share all of the amazing skills I’ve learned over the years to help people like you. If you’ve been a little curious about experiencing Equus Coaching, I’ve got an important question for you.

Would you be interested in meeting me at my barn to experience an Equus coaching session? I’m currently seeking a limited number of volunteers to fulfill my internship hours.

This session would be completely complimentary! I’m not sure what the fee will look like in the future but for now, I’m doing limited number of sessions at no cost.

Why?
You coming to visit would be a HUGE help for me to experiment with and refine my coaching abilities, and to reach my 25 certification-required hours. I’m flying to Arizona in February to finalize the certification and I’m working to get my practice hours in before then.

The Details…
It’ll take about one and a half hours and I promise it’ll be an experience you’ll never forget (hello hot cocoa, country, fun and beautifully smart, four-legged creatures)! Not to mention a great way to connect and meet in person if we haven’t done so before.

Most people walk away with a “light bulb moment” or an “aha moment”. And, most times it’ll help you to find clarity around a topic you’ve been thinking about or an issue that’s been concerning to you. Horses are magical at bringing things out like that!

You’ll have some brief pre-work to complete ahead of time so I’ll have a little bit of background information for us to start with. It all begins from there.

How it works:

  1. You send me a note through my contact form (or leave a comment below) letting me know if you’re interested. I’ll then share with you the dates and times that are currently still available.

  2. You show up here in Ohio dressed warm and for the outdoors—jeans, coat, tennis shoes or boots (close toed shoes are a must), etc.

  3. I show you around, give you a tour of the under-construction-office Shane’s building me (so excited about this!), and then the magic begins in the round pen.

  4. Some things to  know:

    1. All of the exercises will take place on the ground so there will be no riding on the horses.

    2. No horse experience is necessary.

    3. Everything we talk about is confidential and will not go outside of the barn.

    4. There’s no charge for this session. —You’re helping me work out my process so I won’t be charging you for that. 🙂

This is probably a new kind of coaching to you so if you’re feeling hesitant or have any questions about what we’d do or how it works, leave a comment below and let me know. I’d love to hear from you!

See how it works…
This video does a great job of  describing what happens for people who give Equus coaching a try. Equus Coaches are being interviewed, talking about the results this kind of coaching brings to people. It’s worth the time to watch it.

As a side note, you can see me a few times in this video! Check out the 1:23 minute mark that shows ME! being coached with a horse during my Equus training in California!

With much gratitude,

Gretchen

P.S. Got questions? Leave them comments section below.

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Happy New Year!

IHappy New Year from Gretchen! know the subject is a little cliché, however, I’m really embracing this new year. At the end of 2015 I had a tarot card reading and the gal shared with me that 2016 was going to be a year of learning. Honestly, I just took it for what it’s worth but boy was she right! This past  year turned out to be A LOT of learning, and growing for me.

I started a year-long journey to become a certified Equus coach and I’ll complete that goal this February when I head off to Arizona to earn my certification!

This past year, I also started to transition the work I do from not only helping people manage their businesses to now adding Equus and life coaching to my offerings. Equus coaching will be in-person with horses while life coaching will be available by phone or video call. With my practice coaching sessions going so well, I’ll officially begin offering those in the first half this year!

I even have a new office in the works which will make it easier for my clients to get the most out of their coaching experience. It’ll be in my barn, close to the horses and the coaching arena. I’m so excited to have a space like this for learning and growing!

I’ve gained so much wisdom and knowledge that I can’t wait to begin sharing it with my clients.

I hope your holidays were blissful and that you’re feeling ready to take 2017 on by storm, to create the life YOU want to live. I know I’m excited to get this year going!

With much gratitude,
Gretchen

P.S. Tell me what’s on your mind for the New Year by leaving a comment below.

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When Expectations Don’t Align

This is one of the Equus workshop horses who was a little distracted by the left over hay just outside of the pen but still within reach. Hey, who doesn't like to snack? :)

This is one of the Equus workshop horses who was a little distracted by the left over hay just outside of the pen but still within reach. Hey, who doesn’t like to snack? 🙂

From the moment I was asked, I knew that it would be amazing for me to volunteer to help another, more experienced coach, with her Equus workshop in Asheville, NC. I was honored to be asked. Even though I paid my own expenses and had to make arrangements to be away from caring for my family and my own horses, I could feel it in my gut that I had to say yes. So I did.

I’ve participated in a few workshops like this over the past year as part of my Equus Coach training so I went there feeling like I knew how the event would go. I was curious and excited to see firsthand how another coach would run this kind of team building workshop.

When I got to the ranch, after a drive up some seriously winding mountain roads (that made me a little car sick!), things started to look very different from what I envisioned. The horses were trained in a specific manner so that when you go into the pen, they come to you. This surprised me because most horses, being flighty animals, have a natural tendency to walk away.

I wondered how this would work with the Equus coaching process, and how we’d be able to create the experience for the group that I was familiar with. Usually a horse is sniffing, curious and will often come up to you while you’re talking with the coach because it’s a moment where you’re being your true self, where your actions are in alignment with your intentions. In this case, I worried it would be hard to get that experience because the horses were already in your space.

After I saw the coaching in action, those worries melted away. For this thirty-something entrepreneur who brought his team with him, they had no expectations about how the horses would be trained, or act. They had little to no horse experience so all this difference in what I was used to with horses never hit even their radar.

It was great because it allowed them to be very present, in the moment, and open to getting the most out the coaching experience. They really were able to learn more about themselves while also finding ways where they could work together as a better and more efficient team to reach their business goals.

So much so that three of the six found themselves tearing up during their individual coaching. Not from being scared about being in the pen with the horses or from the coach pushing them in any way, but from their discussions and the awareness that the coaching brought up. They’d discovered internal ah-ha moments that came from the process.

It was AMAZING.

New understandings came up around how they work together as a cohesive group, too. One example is of a non-verbal herding exercise where the owner of the company was paired with one of his employees. They had 12 minutes to work together to try to get the horse to go through some obstacles—all without talking. The goal was to work together.

After the exercise, they  noticed the owner took charge and the team member followed. It showed they weren’t working together as well as they could have. The takeaway for them was that he needed to check in with her so they could be working towards the same goals at the same time to help their sales. Had they connected more with one another, they would have accomplished more. This showed how they can work better together back at the office.

I had a few takeaways from this experience, too. I left with a new awareness of my own expectations for this kind of event, since I’ll be hosting my own soon, and how to check those expectations. I always try my best to be  in the moment and know now that I can trust that if I follow my process, even if it’s different from other coaches, I’ll get my private clients and group participants the results and experience that they were looking for.

Hiccups and distractions, like horses who are a wee bit distracted by eating leftover hay in the pen, happen no matter where you’re located. If you’re the host or the participant, unexpected things happen. Trusting in the Equus coaching process works, even if it might look a little different from what you expected at first.

How do you deal with a situation when things don’t go as expected? Does it make your mind spin? Do you begin to doubt the process and question your thoughts?  Leave a comment to let me know how this has worked for you in the past and if it was positive experience or a bit tougher.

With much gratitude,

Gretchen

P.S. Do you know someone else who would enjoy reading this? Please forward this post to them. I’d be forever grateful.

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