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People May Hear Your Words, But They Feel Your Attitude

Maybe this quote should say “People and horses might hear your words but they feel your attitude.” In the case of doing a coaching session with a horse as the co-facilitator, like I’m doing now with Equus Coaching, this is completely the case.

In fact, this is how Equus Coaching works. The horse can feel or read your attitude and if it matches what you’re saying. This interaction with the horse keeps you honest and congruent.

If your words match your attitude and what you really feel, the horse will want to come closer to you. If it doesn’t, it’s your opportunity to dig deeper and figure out what else needs to be addressed so your actions match your words.

This straight-forward process sounds simple and it is, but it’s also the kind of experience that leaves you feeling like you just had a major breakthrough with something that was holding you back. Or that you finally understand why you did something that didn’t work out. It’s amazing to see in action.

Equus Coaching is a way to for us humans to understand how others are really perceiving us and feeling our attitude. I really strive to find the positive in any negative situation, especially if it’s something I can’t change. So, like with a horse-based coaching session, if you’re showing an angry and upset attitude, people won’t be able to listen to you. Learning firsthand how this works is so helpful to getting ahead.

As I’ve been doing Equus Coaching sessions, I’ve seen attitudes lift and ah-ha moments happen. People end the session walking a little taller, more confident and excited to get back to their life with this new understanding of themselves. It’s been amazing to see it happen.

The next time you’re in a public setting, notice when someone’s words aren’t matching their attitude. Maybe it’s a grumpy greeter at a restaurant or an overworked barista whose words are pleasant, but you can tell they don’t match how they feel.

Let me know in the comments if you’ve noticed this before. How did it compel or repel you towards or from that person?

With much love and gratitude,

Filed Under: Blog, General News ~ Leave a Comment Tagged With: Attitude, Clarity, Equus, Motivation

5 Ways to Create a Positive Attitude

Without a positive attitude, it’s nearly impossible to grow and be able to do all of the things that you enjoy most.

When you’re feeling stuck in a less-than-helpful attitude, it can be hard to figure out what you’re really good at doing and stop you from really going after it.

Seeing how a positive attitude works in my life and with my clients, has shown me that it’s truly worth it to find ways to create a positive attitude. By making a good attitude a habit, you can keep reaching and achieving the big things you want out of life instead of stagnating and feeling stuck with what you have even though you know you could be and do more in this world.

When, just like with horses, 60% to 90% of your communication is nonverbal, the way you hold yourself not only shows others your attitude but yourself, too.

If you find yourself sitting with your shoulders up to your ears, squinting at the computer screen with what some might call a scowl on your face, you’ve just observed that you might not be in the best mindset.

Here are 5 things you can do to help get your attitude headed in a positive direction.

1. Own It – You Can Change Your Mind

Remind yourself that own your attitude which means you can change it. There is always a choice that you make when your respond to something. By this I mean that you get to pick which perspective you want to take on a topic.

It’s easy to forget that there are options. Next time you find yourself reacting in a way that makes you unhappy, pretend you’re that super optimistic friend of yours. What would they say in that situation? How would they respond?

2. Know It’s Temporary

Realize that a bad mood will pass. A bad project will pass. A bad conversation will pass.

Sometimes just knowing that your attitude will improve soon as things change over a short period of time allows you to hang on and keep a sliver of positivity when otherwise you might jump into despair. Much like having a bad head cold, a negative attitude sometimes needs to be waited-out.

If you can remember while you’re in the middle of it that it’ll eventually subside, grab ideas 3, 4 and 5 below to help pull you out of it faster.

3. Smile

Because it’s proven to make you happier. Yep, all of the things you physically do change the chemicals in your body and how you feel about yourself.

So smile, put your hands behind your head and feet up on your desk, or strike a “Wonder Woman” hands-on-hips power-pose to get your can-do attitude on the rise.

Hold that position for 2 minutes and you’ll have released chemicals in your body that get you feeling better about yourself and ready to take on your next thing. Professor Amy Cuddy’s Harvard research proves that these kinds of actions literally change the way you’re perceived by others and the way you feel about yourself.

4. Have 3 “Go-To Things”

What are three things that you’ve observed in the past that help get you to a more positive mood?

Does turning music on (and news off) help? Do you have a comedian that you love to watch? Go find some clips of them and get laughing.

I have a video of my daughter that cracks me up everytime I watch it. If you have a video like that, make sure you know where to find it the next time you need a little lift for a more positive attitude.

If you don’t have a child, here’s a video compilation of someone else’s who is pretty darn funny.

5. Complaint Department is Closed

Tell your family, friends and co-workers that the complaint department is closed for the day. If someone comes to you with a complaint, have a neutral response prepared. What can you think of now to say when this happens that will table the conversation until you feel ready to deal with it?

Maybe you ask them to find one or two ways to resolve whatever the problem is before they do a deep-dive venting session with you. Then tell them that you’ll be happy to talk about the issue after lunch, or tomorrow, whenever it’s more convenient for you to speak about it.

The goal here is to buy you time so you can get in a better frame of mind before you deal with an issue that might really pull you away from a positive attitude and the energy that you need to finish your project at hand.

What’s one thing that you do that helps to get you into a positive mood? Share it in the comments box so I can give it a try.

With much love and gratitude,

Filed Under: Blog, General News, Tips & Tools ~ Leave a Comment Tagged With: Clarity, Horses, How-to, Overwhelm, pressure, stressbuster

Thoughts Become Things

I don’t know where I originally heard this quote, “Thoughts become things” but it’s always stuck with me. And, I know it’s true.

I always try to focus on positive results since I’ve seen how it affects me in a negative way when I don’t. AND, because I’ve seen firsthand how it impacts me for the better when I maintain a positive mindset.

For example, this farm I live on wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t gotten on board with my husband’s proactive and positive thinking about it. He’s quite the visionary and big picture thinker. 😉

It was a big leap for us to try to buy the farm. Eight years ago, we didn’t know if we’d get approved loan-wise. Afterall, it was a huge investment and we currently already had a mortgage. And because we kept our thoughts focused in the right direction, our loan was approved and this place became our reality despite it not seeming logical or possible for that matter.

We’ve now got a modern barn, new Equus Coaching office, two horses, chickens, dogs and fields of produce on our dream property that has that beautiful tree-lined pond you see in the image (yes, that’s really my farm!).

I encourage you to hold this quote with you and have your thoughts say yes to some of the things you’ve been wanting. It allows for more, so many more possibilities to become real. Many that you wouldn’t even know are possible.

Let me know in the comments what thoughts of yours have become things.

With much love and gratitude,

Filed Under: Blog, General News, Tips & Tools ~ 2 Comments Tagged With: Business Building, Clarity, Expectations, life coach, Manifesting, Thoughts

Don’t Stop Until You’re Proud

This quote really reflects how I feel about my new office! I am SO PROUD to have this beautiful space as my new coaching HQ!

After a few months of planning, my amazingly talented husband, Shane, built this office space in our barn so I can be completely in my element when I’m doing Equus coaching sessions.

We’ve been working on it in our spare time since January and all that’s left is to put art on the walls. What do you think we should put up?

I do have a big open window that faces out into the round pen where Sunny is always patiently waiting for his next coachee. He’s quite the lover!

What’s a project that you worked on until you were proud of it? Let me know below in the comments.

With much love and gratitude,

Filed Under: Blog, General News ~ Leave a Comment Tagged With: Business Building, DontStop, Equus, Horses, life coach, Motivation, Motivator, Proud

5 Ways to Structure Your Day to Stay Motivated

Do you feel like you lose steam every day?

Do you notice an unproductive lull that happens in the mornings or afternoon?

Does it drive you nuts when you realize that you’ve just lost another hour to Facebook when you went on there to find something work-related?

It can be SO frustrating when this happens, again and again. How does Facebook suck you in like that? How’d you lose track of your client’s big project?

You used to feel so motivated but it’s waning now and you don’t know why you just can’t push through the dull moments to reach the other *productive* side.

If this sounds a little (or a lot) like you, here five techniques you can use to structure your day to stay motivated:

Stake Out Your Day

First thing in the morning (or even the day before, if you can) decide on the one thing you MUST do and keep that at the forefront of your actions. Put that one thing first, wait, let me capitalize that for emphasis: FIRST. You may get off track but you come back to that ONE thing (yep, capital letters again). This small dose of planning goes a long way and ensures your ship is sailing in the right direction.

Micro Celebrate

You take turtle steps like the ones I mentioned earlier to stay out of overwhelm. Every time you finish a step, you cross it off your list and then you do a micro celebration. This might look like a power fist bump raised high in the air, like a little happy dance, or like a verbalized “woot!” with a hand clap. You decide!

Any minor acknowledgment to you completing your task will work. You just have to give yourself that little boost of happiness when you finish a task so your brain starts to associate it with motivation.

Micro celebrations can really make a difference and help keep your motivation-mojo going all day long.

Ask for Accountability

You ask someone to check in on your project status. It could be a friend, colleague, family member or even someone far away. You can tell them exactly what to ask you about and on what day so they don’t need to spin their wheels on it at all.

Knowing that someone will help hold you accountable on that follow-up email that needs to be sent or ask if you got your about page updated is a big motivator to actually getting those things done because you don’t want to have to give a negative reply.

Pony-up for Childcare

If you’ve got kids, pony-up and get childcare in place! Do not feel badly about putting your sweet child in camps over the summer or lining up after school activities.

They’ll have a ton of fun and you will actually be able to get your work done without someone asking you to feed them, fix their bumps, take them somewhere or to watch that YouTube video you don’t really like them watching for the millionth time.

For example, if I’m doing an Equus coaching session, it only makes senses that my daughter will want to be there, fully in the mix. She loves the horses! Unfortunately, this would not only be distracting to me but also for my client so I don’t do it. I make sure she’s got another activity planned during my work time.

It’s not worth the stress and while you may feel like you’re saving on childcare, you’re not making room to earn more in your business.

Get Back Up On That Horse

When you get off track, notice it. Say, “Hello Off Track Mind, we’re heading back to the task at hand”. And then come back to that ONE thing that’s your task.

Be kind to yourself when this happens and gently re-direct yourself, knowing that it’s a part of the process. Expect it, see it and have a plan to move back to where you were.

Building habits like these will help you to tap into your motivation mojo and be able to structure your day to keep taking action to get ahead to support your bigger goals.

If you don’t do these things to stay motivated, you may lose focus, mess-up jobs which can lead to lost clients, and feeling pretty awful about yourself (never a good place to be).

Notice when you skip one of these practices.

How does it make you feel? How good is your end work product? Did you lose your mind because your day lost structure? Do you find yourself a bit more edgy or snappy towards the ones you love the most?

Observe how you feel when your day is planned, you know what you need to do, when you’re crossing things off your to-do list. Do you feel like you’re getting ahead and you’re more motivated?

Let me know in the comments what you notice when you get it right or when your day didn’t go as planned. Seeing and noticing what you learn is a huge part of keeping your motivation mojo going strong throughout your day.

Cheers to saddling up and motivating that motivation mojo!

With love and gratitude,

Filed Under: Blog, General News, Tips & Tools ~ Leave a Comment Tagged With: Boundries, Business Building, How-to, life coach, Motivation, Motivator, Overwhelm, pressure, stress, stressbuster

You’ve Always Had the Power My Dear

I’ll admit, I wasn’t sure if I was qualified to do the Equus training program because I wasn’t sure if I could be a coach. However, I decided to take the plunge and as I went through the training, I realized I did have the courage to actually do it.

I’ve always had the willingness to say yes and do big things but I lacked the confidence. I went through the Equus Coach Training and I realized I had the confidence and power to do it all along.

Where have you felt this in your life?

With much love and gratitude,

Filed Under: Blog, General News ~ Leave a Comment Tagged With: Business Building, Clarity, Equus, Horses, Koelle Simpson, life coach, pressure, vulnerability

How to Tell Your Clients that You’ll be on Vacation with Them Feeling 100% Supported

You have two choices. Take a vacation that’s client-free and boss-free. This means no calls, emails, or texts. And, having everything planned in advance in the weeks leading up to the vacation.

Or it’s tempting to procrastinate and then think, well, I can just take a few calls and I’ll bring my laptop.

But what really happens if you decide not to tell your client or boss that you’ll be on vacation? It never fails! You don’t get cell service at the Grand Canyon so how mad will he/she be when you’re not able to get back to her until 10pm that night?

What if you decide to have a (well deserved) mimosa brunch with the gals and and you have, well…. a lot of fun. Then, your client or boss calls??

The upshot is that you don’t want to jeopardize your client or boss relationships by saying that you will be available when you won’t be. Hopefully your clients love to take vacations for themselves and will completely understand. I highly encourage you to give them as much notice as possible so together you can come up with a great plan for while you’re away.

Here’s a script that I hope you swipe and use for your next vacation this summer, whether it’s for a long weekend or an all-out month of beach time.

Hi Client/Boss,

I wanted to share with you that I’m going to be out of the office from this date to this date and wanted to let you know in advance so together we can create a plan to make sure all of your needs are covered.

Below are the items I will make certain to complete and if you should notice any items that aren’t listed, please let me know.

[insert your list]

I will make sure to give immediate attention to any time sensitive matters once I return to the office.

Thank you,

Your name

Here’s the formula. You lay out what needs to be done and how you’ll get it done before you go. This will provide you with such a peace of mind and ability to enjoy your vacation even more! Make sure you ask if you’ve missed anything on your list—maybe your client or boss was planning a launch that week that they’ve not communicated with you? Include dates and times with your plan to get it all done so you can have a relaxing vacation.

Your client/boss will feel taken care of and happy for you to enjoy a some well deserved R&R.

With much love and gratitude,

Filed Under: Blog, Tips & Tools ~ Leave a Comment Tagged With: Boundries, Business Building, How-to, Vacation

Stuck in Overwhelm? 3 Ways You Can Get Out of It

When do you begin to notice you’re swamped with too much to do and that stress is starting to creep in?? Is it when you’ve nearly bitten the head off of a co-worker or family member (oops!)?

Or when you’re so dog-tired that you’re starting to make careless mistakes because you’ve been staring at the computer screen for what feels like a thousand hours? Around here we like to call that a case of having “mush brain”.

If this is the case, it may be too late to prevent the overwhelm feeling from setting in because you’ve just found yourself in the thick of feeling stressed out with too much on your plate, and too many deadlines to meet.

It can sneak up on you just like that. Fine one minute and then boom!, hello overwhelm-ville.

Last week we talked about taking turtle steps so you can see your progress as a way to get out of feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list.

This week we’re taking it a step further by giving you three totally different ways to cope with the stress of feeling like there’s too much on your plate.

Here are three techniques in different sizes that allow you to get a little separation from the project at hand that’s causing you pain.

SMALL:

You’re stuck at your desk and you’re about to lose it because you just realized that you forgot you needed to do that other part of the project, the one that essentially eats up any float time you might have had.

When this happens, take several deep breaths and feel your feet on the ground. Take note of your five senses. What do you smell? What do you hear? What do you taste? What do you see? What do you feel?

This will allow for you to come back to the present moment, feel grounded + centered and allow for you to think more clearly when deciding that next step.

MEDIUM:

Get up and take a break away from your project. This could be that you go get a glass of water, take a restroom break, go into a conference room and call a friend for a few minutes, surf social media, walk to the mailbox, or get out of the office by going to pick up lunch.

The key here is to physically get away from the project. And to spend a little more time doing something else than in the breathing exercise. This will give you a longer break from the overwhelm zone.

LARGE:

Go exercise. This could be as simple as walking around the block. Or it could be that at some point during the day, you go for a run, bike ride, horseback ride, head to the gym to workout, or take an exercise class.

This will really get you out of your head (and worries) and into your body and, in the present moment. It’s hard to stress out about all the stuff you’ve got to get done, let alone think about anything else but your body’s movements, when your boot camp coach is encouraging you to ride that stationary bike faster or do yet another squat.

The next time you find yourself all of a sudden feeling the pressure to get it all done pronto, pick just one of these techniques and notice how it helps you. The more you do it, the more you can train your mind to accept the break which will make it easier to get back to work, feeling like you can get it all done, no problem.

With much love and gratitude,

Filed Under: Blog, Tips & Tools ~ Leave a Comment Tagged With: Clarity, How-to, Overwhelm, pressure, stress, stressbuster

Feeling Overwhelmed and Under Pressure?

FeelingOverwhelmedUnderPressure Do you ever feel like you’re putting so much pressure on yourself?

With many of the things I want to do in life and in helping my clients, I’ve noticed that I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself. Only after looking at my calendar and my mile long to-do list (of my own making) do I realize that the pressure I put on myself turns into overwhelm.

The overwhelm then creates procrastination. Why is that? Because I expect too much for myself so I delay doing what I reeeealllly need to do. And, if I’m honest, it means that I’m not always using that precious resource called time in the best manner (you know, the one we can never get more of).

This gets to be tough to keep at bay but over time I’ve developed an approach to manage the overwhelm and not let it stop me from achieving my big goals.

It may surprise you what I recommend doing when that feeling of overwhelm starts creeping in on you.

One time when I was speaking with a colleague, I shared this cycle with her and she helped me to speak the process out loud and observe what I do to keep the stress of that long to-do list in check.

When there are a lot of things that I need to do, or one big thing, and I start to get that sensation of feeling overwhelmed, I know I need to stop and look at the situation.

This is the moment when I accept the reality that I’m asking too much of myself. No, I don’t cut my to-do list in half and call it day. Instead, I look for ways that I can make the to-do items smaller.

This is called breaking things down into “turtle steps”. It takes me out of overwhelm because I can still get that sense of completion by 100% finishing individual items or steps in a project. And, it allows me to actually make progress toward my bigger goals whether they’re throwing a party for 50 people, developing a new opt-in for my clients or building a new office for my coaching practice. When you start to feel overwhelmed, just think…

Turtle steps. Slow, steady and doable.

Sound like a contradiction?

By using this process it may seem like more is being added to your to-do list but it actually allows you to see a path of what needs to be done instead of a giant goal where seeing the path to completion is foggy, unclear and has a lot of unknown pitfalls.

Still feeling overwhelmed?

Tell me, what is one thing on your to-do list that you haven’t been able to complete? How can you break that one task into three smaller “turtle steps” or tasks instead of one?

Now, go to your calendar and find three open times to add those steps that seems realistic.

How did that feel? If it didn’t feel doable, tweak the steps and the time it in your calendar until it does. You may need to break it down into even smaller steps.

Once you do that, do you feel more open? Are you breathing easier about it? I’d love to know how this process works for you or if you have a method that works well for handling your overwhelm. Let me know in the comments!

With much love and gratitude,

Gretchen

Filed Under: Blog, Tips & Tools ~ Leave a Comment Tagged With: Business Building, How-to, life coach, Overwhelm, pressure

How Do Other People See You?

Do others see you differently than you see yourself?

Do they think you’re smart, organized, or successful? Are you likeable?

Or maybe they think you’re lazy, over confident or a complainer?

We’ve all got stories in our minds of how *we think* other people or the “everybody’s” perceive us. But in reality, those stories are a giant blind spot and we aren’t all that sure how we’re viewed.

Since we’re all inside our own minds and bodies, it’s hard to get a full, 360 degree view of ourselves. Sometimes this blind spot presents itself as a mysterious disconnect. “Why did they act that way towards me?? Or “How come I didn’t get that job?”

Sometimes the blind spot results in lack of trust in yourself or is the basis for patterns in your life that you hate to see pop up again and again.

What if you could know how others see you?

Body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice all play a part. They tell people right away how much they can trust us and how authentic we are.

Sometimes we carry ourselves and express ourselves in ways that we don’t even realize. From simple things such as how a person might not stand up straight all the time or how someone else might, out of habit, always ask questions that they already have the answer to. Both of these are things those people don’t know they’re doing and if they knew how it was shaping the way others see them and their potential, they might decide to adjust how they show up in that area.

So the question is, how do you figure this out? Do you survey your family and friends? Your co-workers (gah!)? Maybe take an online personality test but can you really trust that?

There’s an easier way and if you’ve been following my work for a while, you’ll be able to guess that yes, it involves horses.

Stepping into a round pen with a horse is one of the fastest ways to learn what’s hidden in your personal blindspot. It’s far better than surveying your friends or taking an online quiz because a horse never judges you and more importantly, it never lies. The horse will always mirror back to you how you are feeling internally while all being done nonverbally.

Most every time a client is in the round pen experiencing the Equus coaching process, they have an ‘ah-ha!’ moment.

This experience, without ever getting on a horse, amps up their confidence because of what they’ve learned from those ah-ha moments. These discoveries put those disquieting, I-know-things-could-be-better worries at bay.

They finally give them a glimpse into how others see and react to them every day. They’re able to understand patterns and behaviors that aren’t serving their needs. And, they’re able to take action to change them immediately.

One example is if a person has issues with boundaries. This helps them put themselves first, and finally create a life that they want instead of playing small, only pleasing others and never reaching their full potential.

It means having solid confidence, feeling empowered and taking charge of life.

Through the horse’s’ ability to validate actions, blind spots are reflected back to help each person see a better path to reaching their goals. Being able to see how others perceive them means they can change unhelpful habits to create and enjoy the life they’ve always wanted.

Have you ever worried how other people see you and how it might be shaping your life? Or do you feel like you have habits that are hard to put your finger on that are getting in your way? Let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear how this shows up for you.

With much love and gratitude,

Filed Under: Blog, General News ~ Leave a Comment Tagged With: Clarity, Equus, Horses, life coach

Feeling Overwhelmed? 3 Key Triggers – Which Are Yours?