This month I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’m willing to do and what I’m not willing to do on all fronts of my life including work, family and personal areas.
I’ve learned I have boundaries that I previously didn’t care so much about. But now, years later, I can see that what were once super flexible borderlines have become hard and fast perimeters that I’m not only sticking to but improving my life with.
I’ve found that when I look toward those big things that I’m working on, I have to be fierce about keeping my boundaries where I want them.
By knowing where I draw the line and by upholding these borders, I save myself time, stress and can focus on where I need to go versus being dragged along on other people’s field trips.
Without keeping those areas sacred, things start to slide sideways and I start to feel resentment for those around me who (usually unknowingly and not admittingly) have overstepped things and are treading too heavily on my time and energy.
Then I feel like crap because I have no one to blame but myself for letting them walk all over me. Can you relate?
Like how I use to agree to work on weekends for my clients. Respond to client texts after hours. Or how I allowed friends/family members to cancel our planned trips last minute without saying that it upset me and why it wasn’t okay behavior.
This used to be fine but not ideal before I had kids, horses and a growing coaching business. But now my life is more full than ever. To survive and thrive, I’ve got to keep it real by having solid boundaries.
And, I really want to enjoy this life’s journey as much as possible without all the things that can bring me down.
When I tow the line I feel better about myself. I feel like I have energy. And best of all, I can tell that others respect me, my feelings and my time.
Friends, family members, clients and even strangers clearly see what my boundaries are no matter how big or small they are. It’s like they’ve read my manifesto on what I will and won’t do.
Have you seen an element of my story play out in a similar way for you ? Think about it for a moment.
What’s something that you used to be okay with doing that you’re not okay with now?
It could be a work responsibility like making the coffee that you don’t even drink but somehow you’re still making for the entire office? Or a family duty like being in charge of all the food shopping or cooking. What’s one area where you feel resentment?
Okay, look at that area or action. Is it something you are still okay with doing or being treated? If not, how can you confidently communicate that it’s no longer a fit for you?
Can you have a conversation with the boundary breaker about why you no longer can do that thing and propose another way to get it done? Perhaps you can you make a go-to phrase that can help?
I encourage you to take action to create boundaries that serve you in reaching your big goals in life. They’ll help you let go of the negative energy and effort in your life so you can let more happiness in.
Let me know in the comments what boundary you’re working on right now and how it’s going. I’d love to hear about it.
With much love and gratitude,
Speak Your Mind